The Lack Diorama
by A Denial
Summary: Body switching, Jean bashing, and a monster. Rated for language. Main person: Gambit. FINALLY BLOODY WELL FINISHED. Fairly interesting, but my first work so a little raw and choppy. Please R&R!
1. As close to normal as possible

Disclaimer: The characters are owned by Marvel, and Warner Brothers, as far as I can tell. I am using them without permission, and am not profiting in any way from this work. I own nothing, so there is no use suing me. I will probably never own any Marvel characters anyway, unless Stan Lee wants to adopt a child. If he does, he can contact me here.  
  
This is my first fan fiction, so I'm not sure if there are certain customs to follow. I do understand that it is customary to write a few words before the start of a chapter, but the reason is not too clear to me. Therefore bear with me here or just skip to the part which isn't in bold.  
  
There is no especial continuity to the TV series, and I have taken various characters from different parts of X-men: Evolution. If you really need some continuity, think of it as the X-men from the first season, along with Gambit in their team, and Beast as a teacher. The Brotherhood is what it was in the first season, with the addition of Boom-Boom. There are no Acolytes, and none of the whole squadron of X-babies (Iceman, Wolfsbane etc). For simplicity let's just pretend they were all on a boat that sank, shall we?  
  
The fic is basically about Remy Lebeau, AKA Gambit, and Scott Summers, AKA Cyclops has the next biggest role. The rating is for language, and comic violence. The title was taken from a song that I heard while writing this fic:  
  
"Towards the rich archaic heavens,  
Towards the lack diorama."  
  
The song is called 'December Flower' by 'In Flames', and the title has no real relation to the song. This is what my title means:  
  
The: this is a definite article, referring to something.  
  
Lack: lack means when something is missing.  
  
Diorama: a diorama is a three dimensional model of something.  
  
Therefore, the whole title means 'a model (or fan fiction) of the X-men, which does not do full justice to them, and leaves out parts of their lives (like the boring bits), in order to give a nice little fan fiction story.'  
  
*-*  
  
Chapter One: As close to normal as possible.  
  
Kurt walked through the corridor of the Xavier Institute. There was nothing to indicate that the day wouldn't be an ordinary day. All over the Xavier institute, things were perfectly normal. Over in the corner, Logan had grabbed Remy by his collar.  
  
"Didn't I tell ya not to nick my beer gumbo?"  
  
"Perhaps, er, y' would like t' calm down, er, mon ami?" Remy said, as composedly as someone could when he was in danger of having his throat ripped out.  
  
To his surprise, Logan felt himself calm down slightly. For a moment, it seemed Remy's empathy powers had saved him, but only for a moment. Logan wasn't too happy about having his feelings manipulated and as Kurt rounded the corner, he could still hear Remy's cries for help, together with some very feral sounding laughter.  
  
Shaking his head Kurt walked on. He was still annoyed at being banned from bamfing within premises; he hadn't exactly expected Professor Xavier to be ecstatic about Kurt nearly bamfing into his nose while he was having a bath, plus having the tub smell of brimstone for days, but. His chain of thought was broken by a very strange sight in front of him.  
  
Rogue chased Kitty with a leather jacket in her hands, Kitty dodging by phasing and letting Rogue fly through her, and then running in the opposite direction. Evan watched from atop a table, laughing his head off. Kurt watched for a bit, wondering how serious- or for that matter how sane- the three were. As he continued forward, Kitty phased through the floor, sticking her tongue out at Rogue.  
  
"Looks like you lose, girl" Evan laughed.  
  
Rogue growled in reply "She cain't hold her breath forever"  
  
"We had a bet," Evan said to Kurt as he joined them "to see if Rogue could manage to make her wear Goth clothes"  
  
Kurt's reply was cut off as Kitty stuck her head through the floor, looked at Rogue and stuck her tongue out again. With a strangled yell Rogue flew downstairs, followed by Evan, still laughing.  
  
Kurt walked on. All over the Xavier institute, things were perfectly normal. Or at least as close to normal as they ever came.  
  
*-*  
  
At the Brotherhood's place, things were normal as well. Fred sat on a sofa scratching his head and wondering how the box of cereals was opened. Finally he shrugged and ripped off the top half, spraying cereal all over Lance. A small tremor shook the building. Fred misread Lance's glaring at him as Lance asking for an opinion on how good the tremor was.  
  
"Very nice Lance," he said, "You've improved lately. Have you been practicing?"  
  
The building began shaking again.  
  
Elsewhere, Tabitha was shaking Todd by his neck.  
  
"Why- aren't- you- normal?" she said, emphasizing each word with a shake.  
  
"Hey! How am I abnormal?" he demanded, as he wobbled up and down, trying to remove her hand.  
  
"Making an altar to flies in my room is NOT normal!" she snapped, shaking harder.  
  
"It's not an altar, yo! It's a fly catcher, and it attracts the flies in your room to one place so I can. dispose. of them." He would have licked his lips, except there was an extremely irate looking woman holding him by the scruff of his neck.  
  
"They are- ATTRACTED- from outside!" If her strength had matched her temper, Todd would have been halfway to Alaska.  
  
"That's cool." He glanced at her face and amended, "Uh, cool? Did I say 'cool'? What I meant to say was 'cruel' that is, the fly catching thingy is cruel, and I'll remove it right now, that is if you- er- let me go and stop shaking me around, um, please?" Tabitha was, however, in no mood to be forgiving. She readied a bomb.  
  
*-*  
  
Back in the mansion, Scott was practicing in the danger room as Remy walked to the control panel and sat down in a chair, rubbing his head. Dieu! Logan was a teacher, he was not supposed to get so, so physical with the students! Added to his hangover, Remy felt he could not have been in worse shape if he had been trampled by elephants in high heels. Scott was fighting a couple of robots. He called for Remy to join him, adding that he had nothing to be scared of. This was, in retrospect, perhaps not the best thing to say to the Cajun when he was in a volatile mood, sitting in the control room. Remy said no thanks as he pressed a few buttons as he stood and walked out, while in the room below him, Scott looked on in surprise as the two robots turned into eight black cloak and helmet wearing men making deep breathing noises, taking out- light sabers?  
  
After lunch, Scott received a message from Lance, telling him to be at the local dike with four others for a showdown.  
  
"What can he want?" Scott mused aloud. Remy stared at him. He spoke slowly, as if explaining something to a handicapped child, "Scott, sumt'ing tells me Lance isn't planning a tea party. Remy be t'inking, maybe he wants t' beat y' up hein?"  
  
Scott shook his head "No, I don't think so. That's too obvious. And besides, you can't be so suspicious of everyone. Perhaps he wants a truce. See, it says here that they want Jean to negotiate."  
  
"No, it doesn't," Rogue said as she grabbed the note from him, "It says they want Jean to referee. Cyke! Referee, as in wrestling matches."  
  
"Rogue," it was Scott's turn to sound patient, "a referee is someone who mediates between two parties to solve a dispute."  
  
"Not ze way they do it in wrestling," added Kurt wryly. Scott ignored the remark. "Okay, who's coming?"  
  
Kurt spoke up. "I want to go. I haven't bamfed in so long I think I'm storing up brimstone."  
  
Scott nodded "Fair enough. Remy, you can come as well. Perhaps one afternoon away from liquor, (which you drink in violation of rules, by the way), as well as the extra danger room sessions for a month, should teach you to not to press buttons in the control room." Remy glared at him.  
  
Logan was listening. He snorted. "So this is your negotiating team?" He didn't bother to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. "The drunk French dude, and the blue German elf? Well done, great leader. Who else do you have in mind? Will it be the antisocial Goth, the skateboarding brother, or the loose lipped half-pint?"  
  
Scott sighed. As field leader of the group he expected to have his actions questioned by the teenagers, but he expected the teachers to be more understanding. He tried to explain his actions to Logan.  
  
"Gambit has empathy powers, even though he can't control them consistently," -for some odd reason Logan snarled and Remy winced- "but I feel that he can be useful in negotiations. Kurt has volunteered to come, and I cannot deny his request. Other than that, I believe that Rogue may be useful, as she knows the Brotherhood. Finally, I will take Evan; perhaps his street-smartness may come in handy."  
  
He was half-expecting it, but it was still hard not to show his anger when everyone burst out laughing, except Logan, who bared his teeth in what might have been called a smile, and Rogue, who coolly arched an eyebrow and said "What maykes ya'll think we'll come?"  
  
He would have lost his temper at that, but Logan intervened (finally he's acting like a teacher, Scott thought), and said "He's your leader. You have to listen to him. If he wants to take you to get your asses kicked because he thinks there will be negotiating, you have to follow him. Not a choice." Suddenly he grinned "And Scooter, make sure Gumbo is in the forefront of all the, ah, negotiations." Still smiling, he walked away. Scott stared after him.  
  
"Why does everyone think there will be fighting?" he asked the air. Kurt answered, "Perhaps, mein freund, because none of us can remember the Brotherhood doing anything else."  
  
"Remy cannot go, he be feeling a bit, er, under de weather, I t'ink de expression is."  
  
He was met by flat stares. Everyone knew he had a hangover. Some people (like Scott) didn't like him breaking the rules. The others were angry because he hadn't shared.  
  
"Hey, if we haveta go, then why not you, man?" Spike piped up. He fell into the latter category.  
  
"Rogue, darlin'?" Remy pleaded, looking her right in her eyes. What a horrible time for his empathy to stop working. She looked at him as if he had given her herpes.  
  
"Do ah know ya shugah? Aren't you tha pahson who wanted ta get intimate with a few cans of beer last naght? Alone?" She looked at him as if seeing him for the first time "Oh, that's raht! You are that pahson!" Remy sulked. He knew when he was beaten. Scott motioned the team to start moving. As they walked Remy said sullenly "Why don' y' all go soak y'r heads?" His empathy must have started working again because the others took at least a couple of steps towards the bathrooms before they shook their respective heads, wondering what had come over them. Kurt, however, was gifted with the ability to teleport, and he took full advantage of it, bamfing away. He bamfed back a second later, head dripping, and with a German curse, jumped at Remy. When the situation calmed down, the team headed out, Kurt inside Jeans' telekinetic bubble, Remy holding two cards ready, making various suggestions, such as "Kurt, mon ami, Remy would like to see you act like a monkey, s'il vous plait." Or "Come on! One more time! Show us how de cow really jumped over de moon!" He stopped only when Rogue threatened to absorb his powers, and shove his Bo staff, kinetically charged, where the sun didn't shine. 


	2. The dike, and what happened there

Hold on. I hope the length of the first one didn't put anyone off. The chapters get longer, I promise. Now, since I gave quotation from a song in the first one, I might as well give one in this chapter as well. One that fits the chapter:  
  
"Things have never been so swell, I have never failed to fail"  
  
.from 'You know you're right' by Nirvana. I think it fits the end of the chapter. R&R, and let me know. Flames are acceptable. to a certain point.  
  
*-*  
  
Chapter Two: The dike, and what happened there.  
  
They drove in the van, Scott forcing Remy to occupy the seat the next to him, while all Remy wanted to do was make up with Rogue, or hurl his brains out of the back window, whichever would be more beneficial. Scott, however, wanted to discuss strategy.  
  
"Now, Remy, you must understand that you are essential to our negotiating party. Jean is the best negotiator, perhaps that is why they want her out of our team," Remy stared at him. The man was insane. If Remy could see his eyes, he was sure they would have a manic gleam in them. He brought his attention back to what Scott was saying.  
  
"You have to suggest terms that are favourable to the X-men. If you can make them do what you suggest, this will be a great victory for us." The way he said it sounded like 'victory for me' "Now what you can suggest are things like, when we are in school." At this point Remy tuned out. He wondered when Rogue was going to stop being mad at him.  
  
*-*  
  
When the team reached the dike, the Brotherhood was waiting. Scott would have had the team moving out in formation if they had listened to him. The two groups faced each other from opposite sides of the dike, Lance and Scott in the front staring at each other like true leaders. Tabitha and Pietro were behind Lance, Fred behind them, and everyone stood slightly apart from Todd. Kurt and Rogue stood behind Scott, Evan right behind them, and Remy a bit further back, holding his stomach with one hand. Jean stood slightly apart, because she was referee, and not because there was a strange smell emanating from her, as in the case of Todd. Scott called out over the noise of the stream, "What are your terms, Alvers?"  
  
He could not have had them looking more astonished if he had suggested they strip themselves naked, coat themselves with honey and jump into a bears' cave. Lance sounded incredulous. "Terms? You thought we came to discuss terms??" The Brotherhood doubled up in laughter. Todd bounded up next to Lance and snickered. "Us, discussing things? Yo, that was a stupid thought."  
  
Lance stopped laughing and motioned the people behind him to silence. With a small smile on his face he called out "Interesting team Summers. Who was to be your main, ah, negotiator?"  
  
From behind the X-men, Remy stepped forward, standing next to Scott. He flexed his elbow, raising a hand casually, and holding it for a second before bringing it down. The Brotherhood started laughing even harder, Pietro having to hold his stomach and sit down. It took a while for the Brotherhood to stop laughing, while the X-men looked on in stony silence. When everyone had stopped laughing, except Pietro, who was still snickering, Lance called out, "And what special negotiating skills does your star have?"  
  
Scott opened his mouth to reply, but Remy spoke first. "Hey, Alvers, Remy be t'inkin'," he gestured towards Todd, "doesn't Toad look so -kissable right now?"  
  
To Lances' horror, he had his arms around Todd, and their lips were mere inches apart before he managed to push Todd away. The ground began shaking violently. The dike threatened to crumble, and let the water flow into the village. With evident effort Lance mastered his emotions, but for only enough to shout "Brotherhood, get them! The Cajun is mine!"  
  
As the Brotherhood charged, Jean took to the skies. Scott looked up, understanding. The Brotherhood had appointed her referee, and she meant to act like one. He felt angry that someone could be so righteous when it was better for them (and their friends) that they drop their beliefs for a few moments. Snapping his eyes back to the battle, he waited for the Brotherhood to reach them.  
  
*-*  
  
Lance watched the fight. In one place, Fred was being punched by Rogue, while he kept on trying to touch her, and make her absorb his powers. However, they both knew she would end up looking like a beach ball (and let's face it, which woman would do that to herself on purpose?), and she was more concerned about avoiding his arms then actually doing damage. Elsewhere, Toad avoided Summers' optic beams by bouncing and Wagner avoided Tabitha's' bombs by bamfing. Pietro and Evan were more concerned about taunting each other. That left Lebeau for himself. He knew he had to follow Mystique's instructions, but the French idiot was going to pay first.  
  
Remy watched Lance walk over to him. The way Remy felt, he knew he was not going to get the upper hand by fighting. But then again, his empathy worked for only a few seconds, if it worked at all. He tried to look nonchalant. Lance walked over and grabbed him by the collar. Remy tried not to look irritated; this being pulled by his collar was getting annoying. He forced himself to sound reasonable.  
  
"Can't we jus' talk like de civilized people?"  
  
"Sure. How's your mom, Ed?" Lance said through gritted teeth. He lifted up Remy as far as he was able to. "You make me nearly kiss Toad, and you expect me to act civilized?"  
  
"So you won't act civilized, mon provocateur?" Lance shook his head, preparing to throw Remy, preferably down the dike. Remy kicked him between his legs. Lances' face turned a very interesting shade of purple as his hands left the Cajuns throat and went towards things he cared more about. Remy looked at him consideringly. "You can't expec' me t' be civilized, when you aren't." Lance squeaked something that sounded like "Eweeweekwuiui." Remy shrugged and went back to the van. He needed to lie down.  
  
*-*  
  
As soon as he was able to get his mind off more personal things, Lance weighed his options. He could go after Lebeau, but that meant possibly getting his ass (or other parts of his body) kicked, as well as incurring Mystiques' wrath for not getting her work done. He looked around and saw his team-mates looking slightly weary from the fighting. He made his decision. Lebeau would wait, because Lance was the leader, and needed to take care of his team, and not because he was afraid of getting his -unmentionables- kicked. No, he was not afraid of Lebeau, what he was doing was for his team.  
  
He made the earth shake; nodding to the Brotherhood that he was ready. He called out to Scott; "Hey, Summers, we aren't getting anywhere this way. Let's have a one-on-one to see which team can be called winners here. Man to man, no powers allowed. Or do you want to put your team-mates through further pain?" Lance knew that Scott was first and foremost a team man. Added to his belief that as leader he was for some odd reason responsible for anything that happened to his team-mates, including chicken-pox, Lance knew that he was going to accept. Scott hesitated for only a second, then nodded acceptance.  
  
"How about we go at it here?" Lance asked, pointing to the rocky hill as Mystique had told him to, making it sound like a random choice. When Scott nodded again, he initiated the next part of his plan.  
  
"Call Jean, she's refereeing, remember?"  
  
When Jean flew down, she treated it like a professional fight. "Okay gentlemen, let's have a clean match here, we don't want any blood on our hands. Now, to signal our good intentions, let's shake hands."  
  
They ignored her. "Start it already, Jean." Scott said as he glared at Lance, who glared back with equal intensity. She sighed and announced; "The match begins!"  
  
"Triinng triiing triiiiing!" added Todd helpfully. X-men and Brotherhood mutants alike glared at him.  
  
During the actual match, all that Lance concentrated on manoeuvring himself into the proper position and taunting Scott, while evading Scott's attacks and attacking only just enough so that it didn't look like a farce.  
  
When he was near enough, he caught one of Scott's punches across his chest, and went and sprawled across a rock face on the hill. "Zap him!" someone called out; Lance thought it was Evan. Scott lost control long enough to shoot a beam at Lance, but he stopped it short as he realised what he was doing. Lance moved to let the beam hit just past him, slamming into the rock surface, which crumbled and cracked from the wall to the ground, he fell onto the ground, which gave way due to the cracks. As he fell, he thought that so far it was all according to plan. Now came the part he was most concerned about; whether Jean would react quickly enough to bring him out before he splattered.  
  
As he was falling, he kept his eyes on the shaft surrounding him, looking for a particular thing. He spotted it just before the sudden stop in his motion told him Jean had him in her telekinetic bubble. He grabbed it as he went up, shaking the earth a bit to loosen it. He didn't have to worry about the shaft collapsing after he got the item. Sure enough, the shaft did collapse, and he was lifted the last few metres under dirt and rubble.  
  
He came out crying foul. Jean looked over him for signs of visible injury, and finding none, went on to tell him he had indeed won, while looking disappointedly at Scott, who was standing shamefaced. The two groups parted, the Brotherhood catcalling over their victory, the X-men walking back to the van in silence. As the Brotherhood left, Lance smiled. He had won over the X-men, as well as making Scott look like a fool with no self-control (he was particularly proud of that, he had spent the whole morning choosing phrases that would make Scott angry enough to shoot.), as well as getting what Mystique had wanted him to. If you left out what Lebeau had done, it was a fine day to be Lance Alvers. 


	3. What Lance Found

Still sticking? Reviews would be helpful. fanfiction.net insists that all my bold and normal text look the same, so I'm leaving the chapter title in the document so people can distinguish between the preamble and the actual story. Keep reading, the story picks up.  
  
Since I put quotes in the other chapters, I'm gonna put one here as well:  
  
"Shout, shout, let it all out These are the things I can do without,"  
  
From 'Shout2000' by Disturbed. All songs mentioned thus far, and later on as well, are copyright their original owners, and I am in no way, shape or form, plagiarising music. yes. that should do it.  
  
*-*  
  
Chapter Three: What Lance found.  
  
Scott was furious with himself. He hadn't expected to lose control and shoot Lance. The insults had been very infuriating, but he should have had more control. As it happened, the blame for the defeat rested solely on his shoulders. Jean wasn't speaking to him, Rogue and Evan didn't speak to him as much as they did before. Kurt seemed more apologetic than anything else, and Kurt's constant assuring that it wasn't really Scott's fault had gotten on his nerves, and he now avoided speaking to Kurt. Kitty hadn't been there, but from the looks on the others faces; she didn't speak to Scott as freely as she would have done. That left Remy. He had been in the van when the incident occurred, but after the incident happened, most of what he said to Scott was along the lines of-  
  
"Hey! Watch it, mon ami. Remy don' t'ink a hole in his chest is gon' t' attract de chicks."  
  
They were both having extra danger room sessions. In his anger over losing control, Scott had given himself a month of extra practice as well. It wasn't working as well as he might have hoped, three days after the incident, he still let his anger override his control, and several times it was merely luck or survival skill that helped Remy leave the sessions in one piece. Now Remy treated him like a walking time-bomb, waiting to explode.  
  
*-*  
  
After the session ended, they both walked to the kitchen to get something to drink. It was well past midnight, and Remy kept a safe distance between him and Scott; no telling if he snapped and decided that killing Remy would atone for his past sins. When they reached the kitchen, and got their drinks, Scott motioned for Remy to sit down. He did so, as far away from Scott as he could without looking as if he was avoiding him.  
  
Scott spoke, not looking at Remy; "You have no idea what it's like, being a leader." Remy opened his mouth to reply but Scott continued. "There is so much pressure on you to do well. The whole team's failure or success may depend on you. Like it did then."  
  
"Uh, Scott?" Scott ignored him.  
  
"I didn't mean to lose control, I just couldn't help myself. The whole team lost its faith in me when I shot at Lance." Remy stared at him. There was no telling exactly when a man lost his mind. He reached for the soda can, preparing to charge and throw it at a moments notice. Scott missed all this; he seemed to inspecting his feet.  
  
"A team without faith in its leader has no purpose, no direction. Tomorrow, I am going to resign, maybe even leave the institute." He finally looked at Remy. "I'm telling you this because the team must have a new leader. Tomorrow I will nominate you to be the leader." Remy gaped. The man had lost his mind. Remy, leader? The very idea was preposterous. He had a sudden image of teaching all the new recruits how to pretend to be sober when they were drunk. But then a thought crossed his mind; as leader, he couldn't drink or steal, or even cheat at cards. He had to be upright, honest, an example for others! And he knew that Xavier would make him swear by oaths he dared not break to be all those things and more. He glanced at Scott, who looked utterly defeated. He had to stop Scott, or start experiencing withdrawal symptoms.  
  
"I know you have weaknesses, but I also know you will be a fine leader. Better than I ever-" Remy cut him off, thinking rapidly. He had to convince Scott to continue as leader. If his empathy wasn't working, he would beat up Scott; trash the institute, anything to get out of being leader.  
  
"Are you stupid?" He asked. Scott looked up in surprise. "Y' discuss dese things wi' Remy, at freakin' ONE IN DE NIGHT! D' y' t'ink Remy is de back of a woman's mag'zine? Has he nothing else better t' do at dis time?" He was on his feet now, towering over the still seated Scott. "Is dis de time t' abandon de X-men, in de hour of dere greatest need?" He was acting too melodramatic for sure, but for the life of him, he couldn't think of anything else. He hoped his empathy was working, and in some permanent form. "Dey need a leader to guide dem, and I'm no leader." (and I wan' t' be able t' drink) he added silently. Scott didn't look convinced. He looked bewildered for certain, but not convinced. Remy sighed. "Pour l'amour de Dieu! Will you listen to reason homme? Everyone needs you." He grabbed Scott's shoulders, trying to look entreating. Now they would find out if his empathy was working. "You need t' be our leader. We - need - you."  
  
There was a scuffing noise behind Remy, feet being rubbed in embarrassment. He turned around. Kitty stood in the doorway, looking at him grabbing Scott and bending over him. It seemed she had heard him say 'We need you.' She spoke, her eyes wide open, staring at nothing and her voice uncommonly bright.  
  
"I came in here for a glass of water. I found none and I left. I did not see Remy and Scott in the kitchen. This is all a bad dream. When I wake up, I won't remember this." She turned around and walked away, saying "I will not say goodbye to anyone in the kitchen, because there isn't like, anyone there. Especially not Remy and Scott." Her voice faded away and Remy looked back at Scott. He would flirt with Kitty later, to show he wasn't- what he had looked like.  
  
"So homme, what do you say? Are you still our leader?" Scott nodded. Remy let out the breath he had been holding. "Okay den, with y'r leave, dis Cajun needs t' get some shuteye." Scott nodded again. Remy added (because Scott showed as much life as a stone,) "Y' will be a good leader." Scott nodded. "Y' will go t' sleep now, 'cause y' need y'r sleep." Scott nodded again. Remy decided, that if his empathy was working, he might as well say the other thing. "Y' will tell Rogue t' stop being mad at me." Scott stirred, a faint smile on his lips.  
  
"That I can't do, Cajun." Remy stared at him; he hadn't realised his empathy wasn't working. Scott smiled. "You can go to sleep. I'll be doing something before I go. Go on, you don't need to be so concerned about your leader." Remy grinned as well. "Good one, homme. And bonne nuit t' y'." He went to his bedroom. A bottle of brandy was lying under his bed, screaming to be drunk.  
  
*-*  
  
Lance was pacing about in his room. Four days had passed since he had shown up Summers, four days since Mystique had taken the thing and locked herself in her room. Four days, and she still did not know how to work it. Lance knew he wasn't going to tell her that to her face though; he had something called 'survival instinct'.  
  
He resigned himself to another day spent waiting, probably spent in his room daydreaming the same thing he always daydreamed about in his spare time; King Alvers, who would save the world from the evil dragon (who had one eye which shot out red beams). Except in today's daydream, there would be a French travelling court- jester who could make things explode, who had angered the king, and could only appease him by kissing the odious other jester to try and turn him back into the toad he had been.  
  
Todd bounced into the room a little while later to find Lance staring languorously at his wall, a pleased expression on his face. Todd thought he heard him say, "Now kiss until I command you to stop." *Geez, I wish Kitty'd say she liked him, prob'ly stop him from dreamin' 'bout her all the time* Todd thought. Aloud he said "Lance, Mystique wants you. Now."  
  
Lance continued staring at the wall. "Call me King Alvers," he muttered, not even looking at Todd. "Or I'll make it a hundred kisses. Everyday for a year." Then he frowned. "And do not mention the name of the evil gorgon again. Saying her name brings bad luck."  
  
Todd stared at him. Then he thought that he should leave Lance to face Mystiques' wrath for not coming, but that would mean Mystique would be angry at Lance for not coming, and at Todd for not forcing him to come. Lance would be in trouble with Mystique, and he would take it out on Todd for not forcing him to come. If however, he roused Lance out of his stupor, and made him come to Mystique, he would only have to contend with Lance being displeased. He gulped. Being a toad meant it was extremely easy to get stepped on.  
  
There was only one choice, really. He hopped up to Lance and shook his hand in front of Lance's face. Lance wrinkled his nose and focussed on Todd. His head was less than a foot away from Lance's, and Lance yelped and shot out of his chair. He grabbed Todd by his throat, while trying to keep as much distance between them as possible. Not an easy job.  
  
"You weren't trying to kiss me, by any chance, were you?" He asked with feigned casualness. Todd thought the rigours of leadership had driven their leader off the deep end. "Hey, um, fearless leader?" He waited until he was sure he had Lance's undivided attention. Taking a deep breath, he continued, "WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO KISS YOU?? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND??" Taking another deep breath to calm himself, he tried to sound reasonable. "You've been acting all weird since that French dude took control of you or something. If anything, I should be creepin' out, it was you who took me into your arms."  
  
Lance muttered something that sounded like "I'm the one who takes baths." In his normal voice he said "What is it? If you interrupted me to borrow my socks or something, you're in for it."  
  
"Naw, I changed socks about three days ago. I came 'cause Mystique wants you."  
  
"Hmm, well." Lance frowned. "She sent you." He got up and walked out. At the door, he paused and turned. "But we're still gonna have a talk when I get back."  
  
Todd gulped. He made a squishing sound. The toad was about to be stepped on.  
  
*-*  
  
Mystique was waiting when Lance walked in. She nodded curtly to him, and resumed her inspection of the artefact she was holding. He recognized it as the object he had brought back, now thoroughly cleaned. He waited for Mystique to tell him why she had called him, but she still looked all over the artefact. He waited a bit, then a bit more. The inspection showed no signs of ending. He tried seeing how long he could hold his breath. How fascinating could a plain black pyramid be?  
  
Finally, when he was ready to punch something out of frustration, Mystique looked up. She seemed to have been ignoring the tremors going on for the past few minutes.  
  
"Fascinating object, this." She said, waving it at him. "All the more interesting because of the challenge it posed. Why, it took me four days to uncover its mystery." She seemed positively shocked at the very idea. "And we all know how good I am at this sort of stuff."  
  
She looked at Lance, and seemed to decide he would break something if she didn't get to the point. That made her frown, but she obliged him.  
  
"This device can release and control a powerful monster, buried a few miles from here. I found another object a few weeks ago, that revealed the presence of the monster to me. It also allows control of the monster, but to a much lesser extent." She picked up what seemed to be a smaller, bent triangle and showed it to him. "I was able to control the monster slightly, but this device was not even powerful enough to wake him and make him escape."  
  
Lance interrupted "Huh? If he was sleeping, what good was it controlling him?" Mystique waved a hand impatiently.  
  
"I was getting to that. Even when asleep, the monster emits resonances. These resonances change the mood of humans and mutants. Fear, depression, anger and the like can be induced in this way. I used it to control Scott Summers when your teams met, and made him act so foolishly." She laughed at the shock on Lances' face. "What, you thought your pathetic insults angered him enough to make him lose control that way? Whatever I think of Xavier's protégés, I admit their leader is quite sensible."  
  
Lance still felt shocked, but he calmed down with an effort. "Okay, so now what do we do?"  
  
Mystique smiled.  
  
"We wake the monster." She said as she pressed the triangle. It began to glow and it seemed to Lance that a cry filled the air, a faint cry of anger. He shivered uncontrollably.  
  
*-*  
  
At the Xavier mansion, the mutants heard the noise too. It seemed to grow louder the longer they listened. All the teens were in the dining room, and they made Kurt bamf to the roof to try and see what was happening. He bamfed back scant seconds later, horror on his face.  
  
"Th- the roof! Hurry!" he said, and grabbed the nearest person, which happened to be Evan, and bamfed back. The others were left to go by more conventional means. However, this being the X-men, Jean grabbed Kitty and flew up, while Rogue, being super-strong, took Scott and Remy.  
  
"This doesn't mean ya'll are forgiven." She called down to Remy. Remy, hanging onto a boot for dear life, looked up. "I know" he muttered, trying to avoid the trees. Scott, who was holding one of her hands in each of his, looked down and smiled. Remy let go with one hand long enough to give him the finger.  
  
They got to the roof alongside Jean and Kitty, and ran to where Kurt and Evan were standing, at the top.  
  
Kitty got there first. "Like, what the f-, uh, I mean-"  
  
Remy got there second, and said what Kitty was too polite to say.  
  
"What de fuck is dat??"  
  
Rogue got there third, chiding Remy as she did so. "Now Remy, ah know how coarse ya'll are, but reahly, ya should have more contro-" she cut off as she saw what the other four were seeing. "Oh ma good God."  
  
Scott and Jean arrived last, and both their eyes widened in shock as they saw the monster.  
  
It was about eleven feet tall.  
  
It was built like a muscular man, if the man was greenish and covered in scales.  
  
It was destroying buildings and cars with as much ease as Juggernaut ever had.  
  
It was heading for-  
  
"Um, maybe he just wants to, like, do some shopping?"  
  
"Thank God I'm nowhere near the mall," Scott said. Jean looked at him. "Uh, I mean we," She raised an eyebrow. "Uh, thank God none of us are near the mall?" Then he thought of something. "Oh, yeah, right, of course. X men! To the mall!"  
  
Irately, he noticed Kurt giggling. The rest of the X-men were staring at him, and he suspected Kitty was hiding a smile. "The hell are you waiting for? Go!" As he watched them get off the roof, he could only think; *what is going wrong with me?* 


	4. The Mall

If it doesn't pick up here, I don't think it ever will. A wise man once said 'In reviews, there is truth.' I think I was that man, but I am not sure, since nobody seems to want to review this story. Regrettably, that is a sad state of affairs. sniff. I think it's making me a little crazy. Kangaroos' eat books to look green. You smell like poo.  
  
I think I better get to the lyric quotation before I scare people into think I was high when I wrote this chapter, and that it's a PWP type chapter.   
  
It isn't.  
  
I think.  
  
My bed bites big crocodiles.  
  
Anyway, now for the quote for the chapter:  
  
"Skin to skin, blood and bone,  
  
You're all by yourself but you're not alone,"  
  
This quotation is from 'Bodies' by Drowning Pool. Read on, enjoy, and for the love of God, review!  
  
*-*  
  
Chapter Four: The Mall.  
  
As the X-men pulled up in their respective forms of transportation, the mall didn't look too badly damaged from the outside. Inside, however, the sounds of glass shattering, and structures falling could clearly be heard. And, strangely enough, so could laughter.  
  
"We be facin' the freakin' Jolly Green Giant," Remy muttered. "Whoop-de-freakin'-doo." He readied a couple of cards.  
  
"Aren't you, like, telling us our formations, mister fearless leader?" Kitty said, waving a hand in front of Scott's face. He was just staring at the mall. He snapped to with a jerk when she waved her hand though, and issued the orders.  
  
"Jean, take Gambit and Spyke to the first floor to assault the thing, then get back to me. Rogue, come with me through the front. Nightcrawler, Shadowcat, check for other enemies throughout the mall, and guard the exits, make sure he doesn't escape." He took a breath, "Our gameplan is for Jean to find out his identity, any weaknesses, anything that can help us. I, Gambit and Spyke will hit him with ranged attacks, exploiting any weakness we can see. In case we have to have Rogue touch him, Gambit, Spyke, you guys distract him while Jean and I cover Rogue. Got it? Any questions?"  
  
They all shook their heads, apart from Rogue, who asked, "Can we go now?"  
  
"Let's go then." Scott said grimly.  
  
*-*  
  
The first indication that something was wrong was that Jean, floating Remy and Evan in her TK bubbles, had just gotten to the first floor balcony when she let them go, and fell herself, onto the balcony. It was a short fall, though, and none of them got hurt. Unfortunately, there was no need to ask her what had gone wrong.  
  
"Flamin' card," Remy said, looking at the card in his hand. It turned a faint red as he tried to charge it, and then the red glow faded away completely. He looked up. "Hey Porcupine, got 'ny quills?"  
  
"Nope," Spyke said, looking at his hand. Suddenly a spike crashed out of his arm, nearly spearing him in the face. Remy looked down fast enough to see the card glowing crimson, and flung it away as swiftly as he could.  
  
  
  
"Get Scooter, tell him we may need de teachers" Jean nodded, then flew down fast, afraid of losing her powers in midair again. Remy followed Evan into the mall.  
  
*-*   
  
Jean flew down beside Scott, and relayed Remy's message. Then she noticed that he wasn't even looking at her. He was staring ahead, a very determined look on his face. She turned to see what he was looking at, and saw the Brotherhood smiling at her from the sides of the room, while in the middle, the monster destroyed assorted pieces of furniture. Scott looked like he was going to stay there the rest of his life if leaving meant another victory for Lance. *Still, that doesn't mean we can defeat a monster who can remove our powers* Jean thought irately, *men can be so pigheaded at times!* Still, she turned to Scott. As she started to repeat to him the necessity of leaving, he held up a hand.  
  
"I heard you the first time, Jean," He said. "But we can do this without assistance. Gambit was right. I am the leader, and I know what is best for the team! I am confident that we can win this fight by ourselves, and prove to the Brotherhood that we are superior! … now if only we knew how that monster got here, and his connection with the Brotherhood."  
  
She answered, her sarcasm thinly disguised "Maybe, just maybe, Lance invited you to the dike so you could nearly blast him, and I, being the fair referee with TK powers, could bring him back up, along with a device he knew was hidden in a mine shaft under him. Maybe, possibly, this object was used to summon the monster."  
  
Scott stared at her in open awe. "My God, Jean! I do believe you've solved the mystery! How did you do it? What convoluted clues led you to this? What cold cut logic did you use?"  
  
He was hit on the head by Rogue. "Maybe she just scanned Lance's mind, doofus." She was pretty irritated by him at that point. Jean however, was concerned. "What's wrong Scott? Why are you acting like this?"  
  
His reply was cut off as a cherry-bomb exploded nearly on top of them. The Brotherhood was tired of waiting.   
  
*-*  
  
However, that was just about the only thing done using mutant powers. As soon as Remy saw the bomb, he let lose with three cards. They flew straight and true- for about a second, and then lost their charge, fluttering to a halt near the monsters feet. That made the Brotherhood and the monster look behind them, to where Remy and Evan were crouching behind the first floor railing. "Way to go man," Evan whispered.   
  
Just then, the cards glowed red again, and exploded. The monster staggered back a few feet and growled. It then made a motion with its hands, and a hush fell on the mall. "Damn, powers gone ag'in." Remy said, and nodded when Evan added, "This time, it feels permanent."  
  
*-*  
  
"What has he done?" Tabitha screamed at Lance, who was too shaken to reprimand her.  
  
"He's stopped our powers somehow." He replied, hoping Cyclops didn't take advantage of their indecision.   
  
"Well, make him stop!" Tabitha screamed, not unlike a spoilt child. She was taking the loss of her powers hard.  
  
"Uh, Mystique has the controller." He hoped she wouldn't attack him with her hands, in front of Summers and the rest. That would be painful. Painful, and embarrassing.  
  
Not noticing the exchange, the monster went on destroying stuff. Every mutant was frozen, even with strenuous physical training, they all were unsure without being able to rely on their powers. It was Remy who solved the problem though.  
  
"Ah, screw you guys, I'm goin' home." He said, a la Cartman from Southpark. He got up and walked away. All the mutants were unsure how to respond to this. While they were deciding what to do, he suddenly reappeared with a large box, which he threw at the feet of the brotherhood. It smashed open to release lots and lots of ball bearings.  
  
Evan, who was also missing, appeared with a T-shirt launcher. He released a salvo at the brotherhood yelling, "Say hello to my little friend!" Remy helped him by reloading the launcher, and they started scattering the brotherhood.  
  
  
  
*-*  
  
Nor were the other X-men standing around. As Scott saw Remy and Evan take the initiative, he motioned to the others to do the same. He himself ran into a pet store, and released the snakes, monkeys, dogs etc. It was time to fight dirty.  
  
Rogue, on the other hand, went for maximum chaos with minimum effort. She simply walked up to the fire hose, turned it on, and swept away the opposition.  
  
The opposition, however, were not so easily beaten. Freddy picked up a mannequin and hurled it at Remy and Evan, who ducked long enough to reload, and were up firing immediately thereafter.  
  
  
  
Todd was busy shooing away the dogs and monkeys etc, and they all did turn away, running back towards the X-men, maybe because of his smell, or the green monster not too far from him. The snakes, however, seemed to like him, and were busy following him around after he realized they were heading for him, and tried to get away.  
  
Lance and Tabitha came from the food court armed with pizzas and salamis enough to start their food fight. Lance also procured a tube which he connected to the drink dispenser, and sprayed Rogue, Jean and Scott with. The sides were pretty evenly matched.  
  
*-*  
  
Kurt bamfed to where Kitty was. "Any enemies?" He asked. She shook her head. "Like, zero."  
  
He nodded. "Same here. There aren't any, at the exits at least. Oh, by the way, did your powers stop working at any time?"  
  
She looked thoughtful "Yeah, for a short time, but they came back. I dunno what's happening here. I think Scott and the others have their work cut out for them."  
  
"Okay, well, our orders are to patrol, so we should stay on the outskirts of the mall. Although I think we should check in on the team from time to time."  
  
Kitty turned and walked through the wall in front of her, while Kurt bamfed towards the next exit.  
  
*-*  
  
The battle between the X-men and the Brotherhood had settled down to a normal fistfight, after the initial usage of mall objects stopped. Jean faced Tabitha, Evan faced Pietro, Rogue and Remy squared off against Freddy, while Todd ran away from the snakes.  
  
"If ah save your ass, Cajun, it doesn't mean ah love ya" Rogue growled.  
  
Remy waved a hand dismissively. "If ah grab yours, it means ah do." He said, imitating her. That line would either land him in her arms, or in the hospital. He was pretty sure it would be the latter, but he figured he was deep enough in the doghouse to risk it. The shock had barely faded from Rogue's face when he jumped at Freddy, trying to take him down. He failed miserably, of course. Even without the power of being immovable, Freddy was too goddamn fat to be taken down by anyone but a pro-football player. He did stagger a few steps though, then walked up to Remy, sitting stunned on the floor, pushed him into a supine position, and sat on him. And smiled.  
  
Rogue, regardless of what she was feeling for Remy at the moment, tried to get the Blob off him. Unfortunately, she didn't have any powers, so her fists were rather ineffective. The only effect she had was that Freddy started pretending Remy was a horse. As Remy's screams rent the air, she frantically cast around for something to hit Freddy with.  
  
  
  
She came up with a 2 by 4, which she proceeded to hit Freddy with.  
  
His smile frozen in place, he keeled over. She helped Remy up. "De hit to de head, dat was one for love, no?" He grinned at her.  
  
  
  
"No." She said, brusquely, but he thought he saw her redden a bit. Her ears anyway, you couldn't tell about the face because of the darned makeup. He had to keep at it anyway, keep her off balance, so she wouldn't think about hitting him or something, so he grabbed her by the arm. "C'mon chérie, the others need some help."   
  
*-*  
  
Kurt and Kitty met again.  
  
"Anything?"  
  
"Like zilch, elf."  
  
"Maybe we should go check out what's happening?"  
  
"Fine by me."  
  
Kurt held Kitty by the waist. She smiled – very slightly – and held his hand with hers, distancing it from her body. He made a face, but bamfed anyway.  
  
*-*  
  
Jean dispatched Tabitha off easily enough, pretty proud at the fitness of her muscles, when she had telepathy, and telekinesis to make things easier for her.  
  
She turned to where Rogue and Remy were watching Scott and Lance fight. She raised an eyebrow quizzically, and Rogue replied "He doesn't want help." She said it the same way she would have said "Having his ass kicked is high on his list of things to do."  
  
"Maybe you people should take care of the green dude?" Scott said, his frustration apparent. Lance hadn't hurt him, but neither had he hurt Lance. They were irritatingly evenly matched in hand-to-hand combat.  
  
At that moment, Kurt and Kitty fell out of midair. Jean tersely explained the loss of powers, and that they were fighting the monster, as she walked towards them.  
  
"Still, it is five on one, so we should beat him easily." Kurt pointed out. Out of the seven X-men who had gone to the mall, Scott was fighting Lance, and Evan and Pietro were knocked out, as the monster had pushed through them while continuing his damage. Todd was hanging off a streamer, as snakes circled below him.   
  
"Maybe we should step back so you c'n go mono-e-mono, Elf?"  
  
"Shut up, Remy. Kurt, you and Kitty distract him. Remy, you, Rogue and I will take him down."  
  
"Like, why don't we ever get to do anything?" Kitty looked close to sulking.  
  
"Observe." Remy said. He poked Kurt in the chest. Kurt fell down. "See? He be light enough to float, an' you ain' called half-pint for nothin'."  
  
"We are wasting time." Jean said through gritted teeth. The monster had nearly destroyed the whole downstairs area. "Kurt, Kitty, go and distract it."  
  
"So what do we do? Ah hope you have a plan."  
  
"That thing looks too strong to take down by our punches. We are going to have to trip him."  
  
Rogue stared. "That was your master plan? Ah thought you were smart. And what, pray tell, do we do when he gets up?"  
  
"We make sure he doesn't get up." Jean replied, getting irritated at her plan being questioned. After all, she was the one who was a straight A student, not Rogue.  
  
"And how do you propose that, Shugah?"  
  
Remy wasn't even listening. He was looking at Kurt and Kitty yelling at the monster. So far the monster hadn't even looked at them. The most they were doing was stamping their feet.  
  
"Damned amateurs," He muttered "Dey really need to learn how to bug people." He started walking towards a plant pot. "So let's have them take tips from the master." He called to them as he picked up the pot. "This is what you should do, ames." He threw the pot at the monsters head.  
  
After the pot shattered against its head without doing any noticeable damage, the monster turned to look at him, as well as at Jean and Rogue, who were arguing by now. He started walking towards them.  
  
Jean and Rogue only noticed when Remy ran past them saying "I pissed off the fils de chienne!"  
  
"Fils de what?" Rogue asked Jean, who took French, as they ran.  
  
"I wouldn't dirty my mouth by telling you. 'Fils de' means 'son of'. Now figure it out." She called ahead to Remy, who could be seen disappearing around a corner; "You foul-mouthed, bludgeon-headed coward! Kurt and Kitty were supposed to distract him, not us! Now come back here and fix the mess you've made!"  
  
*-*  
  
At this point, Kurt and Kitty were trying to figure out what to do.  
  
"Any ideas?" Kurt asked.  
  
Kitty giggled. "Yeah, you go and knock him down." She poked Kurt, who fell down again.  
  
"You do that again, Pryde, and I'll leave you with Forge." He thought about it. "No, I'll leave Remy with Forge, and bamf you to the Caribbean with me." She inched away.  
  
"So like I was saying, any ideas?"  
  
"We could like, try to distract him, and hope Jean can improvise a plan."  
  
"Fine by me." Kurt said as they chased after the monster.  
  
"Stop saying that!"  
  
"Fine by- oh what the heck. Alright, I'll stop."  
  
*-*  
  
Scott was still fighting Lance. "Ha! Face it Summers! You can't beat me!" Lance grinned through clenched teeth.  
  
That was what finally made Scott lose control. He made a Juggernaut-esque charge at Lance, slamming his knee between Lance's legs. Lance made a squished sound as he fell to the floor. Scott then proceeded to kick him until he was fairly certain Lance wouldn't have children without major surgery. He then turned to where the monster was, standing with Remy a few feet away, under the roof of the first floor, with Jean and Rogue fallen on the floor, and Kitty and Kurt hanging on to the monsters back. It still hadn't noticed them.  
  
"Jean! No!" He ran up the stairs.  
  
*-*  
  
The majority of his vision was taken up by the monster, but out of the corner of his eyes, Remy saw Scott kicking Lance. As he crouched against the wall with the monster breathing deeply, and looking at him as if trying to decide what type of death would be painful. Just then Scott looked towards him and the others and shouted "Jean! No!" Remy's fear lessened a little. Maybe he wouldn't be pulped. Just then Scott ran up the stairs.   
  
Remy's eyes bulged. He had not thought Scott would run away, no matter how quirky he had been lately. But that wasn't important at the moment. What was important was to get out of the mall on his own two feet, and not on a stretcher… or in a casket. Maybe he could distract the monster himself. He got to his feet, and dusted himself. Then he stuck out his hand.  
  
"My name is Remy, and I'm pleased to meet you." The monster ignored the proffered hand, and glared at Remy. Then he growled. Remy, who knew from hanging around with Wolverine that when you were growled at, the best place to be was as far away as possible, gulped. But he had no choice. He had to keep talking, and hope the monster would not beat him up.  
  
"This be your first time in this town, right?" Another growl.  
  
Rogue shifted slightly and whispered "For Gawds sake Cajun, caint you ever shut up? You're pissing him off even more." Remy gaped. He didn't think Rogue would play dead. In the second it took him to realise that Rogue was faking, the monster had picked him up.  
  
"Aw, gee thanks Rogue. I wonder why he wasn't picking me up when I was talking."  
  
"Nice to know you cain be sarcastic when you're being crushed. An' better you than me, Gumbo."  
  
Remy wondered why the monster hadn't hit him yet. He looked at the monster, and saw him looking interestedly at Remy. He raised an eyebrow, and asked a question on impulse.  
  
"You can understand us, can't you?"  
  
The monster nodded. A muffled "Aw cripes!" can from the general direction of Rogue's seemingly supine body.  
  
"Well, can you speak?"  
  
The monster shook his head.  
  
"Are you going t' do grievous bodily harm to me?"  
  
The monster nodded.   
  
"Ah. Okay, will you leave de rest of dem alone?" What was that annoying scraping sound?  
  
It shook its head. Then it raised its other hand to strike Remy. Remy closed his eyes.   
  
"Love ya, Rogue."  
  
Just then a sofa came and landed on the monster and Remy. He was only glancingly hurt, however, as the arm raised to hit him had interrupted the meeting of the sofa and his face. As the monster was knocked out, Remy felt the return of his powers. Just then, Scott's voice called from above.  
  
"Is it out? And is Jean fine?"  
  
"Yeah, it's out, and yeah, I'm fine." Jean said, getting up. Remy stared.  
  
"Both of you were pretending t' be unconscious?"  
  
Jean nodded.  
  
"Women." Remy muttered. Aloud he said "Nice to know. Now can you get this sofa off me?"  
  
She raised the sofa telekinetically, and smashed it onto the monster as Remy rolled away.  
  
Kitty and Kurt had jumped away when they saw Scott pushing the sofa, and they came forward to help Remy up. Scott joined them.  
  
"What do we do now?" Jean asked him.  
  
"We go home, and tell Xavier that we have temporarily neutralized a threat to the city, and ask him about any further instructions."  
  
"We just leave it here?"  
  
"Do you want that thing waking in the mansion and neutralizing all our powers? We don't have a way to shield its effect. And we don't need to take the Brotherhood."  
  
The rest of the team nodded.  
  
*-*  
  
When the X-men left the mall, the monster was piled under every piece of rubble it had made. The Brotherhood were wrapped in the middle of the mall (With ribbons, Kitty had insisted), and a bow on Lance's head. Todd was still hanging above the snakes, who had had a box put around them with Jean's TK to make sure they didn't get bored and go away.  
  
When the police arrived, there was only destruction, with none of the Brotherhood, or the monster, in sight.  
  
*-*  
  
Was it good? Was it bad? I don't think I'll ever find out unless someone presses the 'review' button. I realise I'm might be irritating people with all this insistence, but hey, it did take quite a lot of time and effort, so I'd like to know if it was worth it.  
  
Please let me know.. 


	5. Hiatus

Cool. I got a couple of reviews.. Satisfaction is setting in.. For this next chapter, and the chapters after this one, my sincere hope is that no one minds fairly extensive Xavier bashing.  
  
"Come, take me away,  
Remove the fear from my eyes,  
Feel the flame of my heart,  
Burning away all conversation tonight,"  
  
Dis one be from 'Rise', by Disturbed. 'Tis fun to type an' speak dis way mes amis, 'cause barely 'nyone can unn'erstan' y'.  
  
*-*  
  
Chapter Five: Hiatus.  
  
It was late in the evening when the X-men arrived back at the mansion. They trooped in wearily, exhausted by the days events. Unsurprisingly, Xavier was waiting in the main room, with Logan and Ororo on either side of him. Hank was sipping a drink at the side of the room.  
  
"Hello, children." Xavier said, although unsmilingly. Ororo and Logan were expressionless, and Hank seemed to be inspecting the contents of his drink and muttering to himself. "How was the mall?"  
  
"Fine," Scott said, his tone a touch defensive. He was probably expecting an assault for not informing the elders at any moment.  
  
"Logan, Ororo and Hank are not telepathic. Could you recount the day's events for them?"  
  
Scott gave a quick rundown on what had happened at the mall, and the events taking place at the dike. The teachers remained expressionless throughout the recital. When he finished, there was an uncomfortable silence. All the teens were looking sullen, Remy noted, like they were already being chided for what they had done, even though Xavier had not announced a punishment. He hadn't been with the X-men long enough to know whether this was what Xavier usually did or not. He also did not know if he was supposed to keep quiet or not, but he had a question.  
  
"How come we heard de noise when you people didn'?  
  
"Ororo and Logan were out on some business. Hank was down in the lab all the time, and I was taking a short nap. The noise had stopped by the time Logan and Ororo returned and I woke up." Xavier replied, slightly smiling like he always did when he wanted you to think he knew something you didn't.  
  
"But something like that would have been on all the news channels." Scott mused aloud, and then looked embarrassed at having spoken before Xavier asked him to.  
  
Logan growled. "Woulda seen the news if ya hadn't been watchin' the flamin' Jerry Springer Show, Chuck."  
  
Xavier gave a forced smile as the teens gasped in shock. "It's purely to analyze the psychology of the people on the show, children," he said.  
  
"The flamin' hell it is." Logan muttered. Xavier gave another forced smile. Suddenly Logan shook his head, and seemed to be swatting away a fly that was inches from his nose (Xavier can alter a persons perceptions of reality). He continued doing this while Xavier resumed talking.  
  
"Well, you all have not done badly, and although you should have called us for help, you seem to have gotten out of this without suffering any unforeseen consequences-"  
  
He was cut off by Jean, who put a hand to her head. "Professor, I don't feel too good." Suddenly, a familiar red beam burst out of her eyes, nearly vaporizing Logan and Ororo, who jumped out of the way just in time, and missing Xavier's bald head by so little as to have shaved him if he had hair. Jean squeezed her eyes shut.  
  
Xavier's smile swayed a little, but was quickly back in place. "Or I could be wrong."  
  
Hank quirked an eyebrow. "Interesting." He put his glass down. "The monster removed your powers, right? Well it seems that he hasn't given them back properly."  
  
Just then, Rogue gasped as the beam shot out of her eyes, again scattering Logan and Ororo, who had just gotten up. Xavier ducked, this time to avoid having major surgery.  
  
Hank wasn't smiling. "All of you, close your eyes. And don't make any sudden moves."  
  
"Why?" Asked Remy, who was feeling like an idiot with his eyes shut.  
  
Just then someone - he thought Kurt - sneezed, and a 'fwick!' sound came, and then a thud. He felt it safe enough to open one eye, and he did so, to see Xavier ducking with a spike quivering not half an inch above his head.  
  
"Uh, I hope I didn't do what I think I did." Kurt said.  
  
"You did, Elf." Logan snarled from the ground where he had jumped for the third time.  
  
"Okay, all you people, in the rec room, now." Hank said, "And don't touch anything!" he added frantically as Scott's hand brushed a vase. It glowed bright scarlet, and exploded, although without too much force, as the contact had been brief. That got the group moving fast.  
  
*-*  
  
The group assembled in the recreation room dressed more oddly than they were used to; all of them were wearing copies of Scott's glasses, and all of them were covered head to toe so that they didn't charge anything by mistake, or touch anyone and absorb their powers.  
  
They had also been further cautioned by Hank: "You know your powers are switching randomly. So no sudden moves, no anger. That will make you release spikes. No thinking about moving stuff with your minds, and no holding your breath. That would make you misuse Jean or Kitty's power. No thinking about the bathroom, or Alaska-"  
  
At this point Evan vanished with a loud 'bamf!' Hank rubbed his forehead wearily. "I hope he was thinking about the bathroom, and not Alaska. Anyway, until we can figure out a way to return you people to normal, you have to stay in the room. Xavier may own a mansion, but I don't think he could afford the upkeep if we let you people loose. Scott, keep everyone busy, so they don't think about other places-"  
  
Scott vanished.  
  
Without missing a beat, Hank turned to Jean and continued, "So stay occupied. And remember, no coming out until we tell you that you can."  
  
*-*  
  
So they clustered in the rec room, wondering what to do.  
  
"We could play cards," Remy suggested.  
  
"If you sit and watch," Evan said as Kurt yelped "No way am I playing with you again!"  
  
"Why is dat?" Remy asked, appearing astonished.  
  
"'Cause you cheat, man."  
  
"You malign poor Remy. You hurt his feelings; after all he's done for you." Remy said, feigning anger. "You accuse him of being a cheat, while he's at his lowest, wearing sunglasses in a dark room like some huge dork."  
  
"Careful, Lebeau," Scott spoke up.  
  
"So," interjected Jean, always the arbiter. "What could we do?"  
  
"Let's listen to music," Kurt suggested.  
  
"And what song will we play? Everyone has different tastes." Jean replied.  
  
"Someone must have ze same taste in music," Kurt said, "Zere are-" He did a quick count, "Seven of us. I refuse to believe no two people have the same taste in music."  
  
"It's a bet!" Remy cried, slapping his hand. Kurt looked taken aback.  
  
"So, Porcupine, what do y' listen t'?" Remy asked, looking at Spyke.  
  
"R&B or Soul, man. Rap also, if it has enough tune. Ya gotta love Nelly and Usher."  
  
"An' you, Kitty?"  
  
"Pop, mostly." Several people made gagging noises. "Maybe Britney Spears or Shakira. A bit of Blink 182 also, at times."  
  
"Dats two, Elf. They aren't de same. What about you? Be honest now."  
  
Kurt smiled, a bit uneasily. "German metal. Rammstein for example."  
  
Remy smiled. "Yeah, I heard their song in the Vin Diesel movie. It was pretty good."  
  
Kurt grinned. "If you liked that, you'll definitely like Halleluja, from the Resident Evil soundtrack."  
  
"I'll remember dat, Elf."  
  
"So, Remy, what do you listen to?" Jean asked.  
  
"New age Metal. Like Linkin Park or Disturbed, or Rob Zombie." He smiled. "Dat's four down, Elf. You are gonna pay."  
  
"But I never made a bet!" Kurt yelped. Remy smiled, and he sighed. "How much for, Gumbo?"  
  
"You take my extra danger room sessions."  
  
"I guess I can bet for that, if you take any I get this month."  
  
"Hey! That isn't allowed!" Scott exclaimed.  
  
"Dat, or ten bucks, straight up."  
  
"I think I have Scott's powers," Kurt said, glaring right at Scott. "So if I were to take off my glasses right now."  
  
"Alright, jeez, take the sessions if you want." Scott said, shaking his head in disgust.  
  
"Danke." Kurt said. "And what do you listen to?"  
  
"Rock, but mostly old metal. Metallica, Guns n Roses, Iron Maiden etcetera." Scott replied. Remy nodded in approval.  
  
"I listened t' dem, but de solo's an' de songs got too long for my taste."  
  
"But you can't have a song without a solo. A solo is where the guitarist challenges himself. Listen to November Rain by Guns n Roses, or Fade to Black by Metallica and you'll see what I mean." Scott said, surprisingly passionate about the whole thing.  
  
"Halleluja, November Rain, Fade To Black. Got it." He turned to Jean. "An' you, Princess?"  
  
She smiled. "Classical music. It purifies the mind and soul. If I don't listen to any of Mozart's symphonies or Beethoven once in a while, I feel I've lost a part of me."  
  
"Imagine what will happen when she and Scott get married," Evan whispered to Kurt, who grinned.  
  
Suddenly Remy got a mental image of Scott listening to a hardcore metal song, while Jean hit him over the head and tried to put on Bach. He grinned, both at the image, and at realizing he had Jean's power. Now to do something she would be too nice to do.  
  
While he was thinking, Kurt was asking Rogue who she listened to. She looked at him, and then at Remy, indecisive.  
  
"Marilyn Manson." She admitted. "Who else?"  
  
Kurt groaned. He had netted himself three weeks of extra danger room sessions. He turned to Remy, expecting him to be smiling, but Remy was staring off into space absentmindedly.  
  
That was because Remy had picked up on Rogue's thoughts. She was thinking about whether to lie about who she listened to, to make Remy lose the bet, or tell the truth. She had decided to tell the truth, but the brief hesitancy surprised him. There was also nothing he could do about it, with her refusing to talk to him. So he did the next best thing.  
  
*Scott!* He tried to send out a telepathic thought. Everyone in the room grabbed their heads in pain.  
  
"Did you just hear someone shout Scott right now?" Kurt asked Evan. He nodded. Everyone else also said they had heard it, including Remy, who had the sense to align himself with the group.  
  
Next, he tried focusing on Scott only.  
  
*Scott.* It was more of a telepathic whisper this time.  
  
*Who's this?* Scott thought back, shifting on the sofa.  
  
*Remy.*  
  
*Could you get out of my head, Cajun?*  
  
*I need you t' do a favor for me, y' bein' de team leader an' all dat.*  
  
*What is it?*  
  
*Dat Rogue t'ing I tol' y' 'bout.*  
  
*No thank you. My dad always told me to never mess with the super strong girls.*  
  
*I might be able to pry around your head. Let's see, Remy be gettin' a thought about what y' did last Sunday, in de shower. Y'-*  
  
*My God! I'll do it if you get out of my head! And shut up about the shower thing; I'm only human.*  
  
*'k. Ask her why she's mad at me, an' how I can make it up to her.*  
  
The telepathic link faded. Scott was left wondering how he could get Rogue to talk to him. About anything for that matter let alone her feelings about Remy at the moment. She probably wouldn't tell him the color of her favorite lipstick on a normal day, although any fool could see that it was black.  
  
He decided to wait until he got Jean's telepathic power, to ask Rogue. And to slap Remy around for involving him in this mess.  
  
The night rolled on.  
  
*-*  
  
At about one o'clock they played cards, having exhausted all other possibilities, such as board games and the like. Remy was forbidden from playing after he won the first three games of Go Fish ("But it's Go Fish, how c'n 'nyone possib'ly cheat at Go Fish!?!") and he sulked, watching television through ruby quartz glasses, which soon gave him a headache.  
  
Eventually, everyone got tired of playing cards, and Remy was admitted back into the fold.  
  
"Now what?" Jean asked, as they all sat there, wondering what to do, for the umpteenth time.  
  
"We could always play Twister." Kurt suggested, his tone indicating how stupid he thought the suggestion was.  
  
"And have, like, twenty spikes in my stomach? I don't think so."  
  
"So we could play when we're back to normal fraulein?" Kurt asked, smiling at Kitty.  
  
"Like, dream on Elf."  
  
"No harm in asking, is zere?"  
  
Meanwhile Scott realized he had finally gotten Jean's power, when he felt Kitty mentally blushing at Kurt's suggestion. Then he got a mental projection of Kurt and Kitty playing Twister. He didn't know who thought it, but he suspected it was Kurt, because they didn't have any clothes on in the projection. He let out a strangled yell.  
  
"Yeeeaarghh!"  
  
Everyone looked at him, but he glared at Kurt, who looked confused. Kitty however, blushed for some odd reason.  
  
When everything calmed down, he tried to reach Rogue's mind.  
  
*Rogue?* He had a bit more practice than Remy, after a fashion, because of all the times he had talked to Jean, so he got into Rogue's head on the first try.  
  
*Jean?* Rogue's face registered astonishment, and she turned to Jean, who was oblivious, chatting with Kurt.  
  
*It's Scott, actually.*  
  
*What do ya'll want?*  
  
*Why are you angry at Remy? It can't be over a stupid can of beer, can it?*  
  
Just as he had feared, back came the thought *Why should ah tell you? It's none of your business.*  
  
He was about to break the link and tell Remy to do his worst because he had failed when back came another thought from Rogue.  
  
*It was the beer at first.* She was hesitant, unsure whether to tell him all. *But he didn't even apologize for not sharing it with me, after all his grand claims of me being his only love.* She stopped for a bit. *And then he started acting like an idiot, making remarks about grabbin' mah ass and saying other stupid things.*  
  
Scott glanced at her face. She seemed to be weeping. That couldn't be right, the Rogue, crying?  
  
She continued. *It's tearin' me apart, to go so long without talking to him, but every time ah look at him, trying to talk, he grins and makes some stupid remark which pisses me off even more.*  
  
*Maybe he's trying to charm his way back into your good graces?* Scott asked.  
  
She snorted, mentally *He couldn't charm a cross-eyed mule with those lines. All I want him to do is apologize. For the beer, and for acting like an idiot.*  
  
Scott nodded and closed the link. He then opened up one with Remy.  
  
*She wants you to apologize, Lebeau.*  
  
*Merde! What for?*  
  
*To quote her, you are acting like an idiot.*  
  
*Remy actin' de way he always acts.*  
  
*Yes, like an idiot. That's what she said. And she asked for an apology for the beer also.*  
  
*One or two lousy cans! Dat was what pissed her off!*  
  
*It's the thought that counts, Cajun. And you know how women can be.*  
  
*Yeah, well. Okay, Remy gon' t' apologize.*  
  
*Good luck Cajun.*  
  
He shut off the link, and saw Remy get up from in front of the television and walk toward the door.  
  
"Where are you going, Remy" Jean called.  
  
"Bat'room."  
  
"You do know you aren't allowed to leave the room, right?"  
  
"Oh yeah, t'anks for remindin' me, Princess. I need someone t' keep a lookout for de teachers while I'm in de bathroom. Rogue? Would y' do de honors?"  
  
Rogue looked up from a magazine, astonished. She glanced at Scott, who kept his face expressionless. Then she looked at Remy, who mercifully wasn't smiling. "Ah guess so." She said, putting the magazine and getting up. Remy held the door open for her and closed it behind them.  
  
"Scott! They're disobeying the rules, stop them!"  
  
"It's only till the bathroom, Jean, what harm can they do?" he picked up the magazine Rogue had left. "They'll be back soon enough."  
  
*Don't do anything stupid, Lebeau.* He thought, flipping the pages.  
  
*-*  
  
Remy led the way to his room. Rogue walked silently behind him, keeping a lookout for any teachers.  
  
"Remy, we've passed three bathrooms already. Why are we going to the one in your room?" She whispered, annoyed at the possibility of being caught because Remy couldn't use someone else's toilet paper.  
  
"Shh chere." He whispered back, opening his door. "An' wait outside." He closed the door, leaving her wondering how soon she would be caught, and making up a list of excuses.  
  
A couple of minutes later, Remy opened the door.  
  
"C'mon in, chere."  
  
She gasped as she stepped into his room. The bed was covered in roses, and the fragrance filled the air. There was a giant bouquet of flowers on the bedside table, with a note saying 'Please forgive me.'  
  
"How- how did you-?"  
  
"I bamfed to the florists, chérie." He took her by the hand, slipping off her glove. "An' I want to apologize for anyt'ing I may have done t' upset y'."  
  
She pulled her hand away. "Remy, you know we caint touch-" She stopped as he stroked her cheek.  
  
"Yes we can, mes âme. An' dat is de only t'ing I want t' do right now." He led her to the bed.  
  
*-*  
  
Scott sat up with a jerk, throwing aside the magazine.  
  
"Lebeau!" He roared.  
  
*-*  
  
At near four in the morning, Hank opened the rec room door, to find all seven teens sleeping. He smiled, slightly. The adults stayed up nearly all night to solve their problems, and they went to sleep, confident they would be alright in a few days. They'd find out what it was like, being adults, in a few years. But, for the moment, he could teach them something about responsibility. He clapped loudly, his large hands generating large amounts of noise.  
  
"People, get up! We may have found a way to resolve your little power switching misfortunes. War room, now!"  
  
And when the Beast shouted, only the dead remained lying down.  
  
*-*  
  
It was a beleaguered team that assembled in the war room. Remy was leaning on Rogue for support, Kurt was snoring head down on the table, and Evan and Kitty were slapping themselves to keep awake. Even Scott was rubbing his eyes. Jean was the only one wide awake, because she had gone to sleep first, and because she didn't want Dr McCoy thinking she couldn't stay awake.  
  
"Couldn' dis wait till de mornin'?" Remy muttered. He had had less sleep than all the others - apart from Rogue, of course.  
  
"Of course not, my heavy eyed friend. I don't think the rest of your ames are willing to go so long without possessing their powers for such sporadic periods of time. Is that not right, people?" He beamed around the table, but got no reply. Kitty and Evan had given up slapping and were sleeping. Kurt had fallen on to the floor, and was curled up there like a baby. Rogue was now leaning on Remy's shoulder and sleeping. Scott was picking up a glass of water and pouring it on his head. Jean was still as perky as ever, but her smile had started seeming a little frozen in place. "Well, maybe not."  
  
Remy was awake only because Rogue was leaning on him. "Remy be t'inkin', Dere are two t'ings y' could do right now. Y' could tell Remy, Cyke an' Jean, an' expec' us t' remember it in dis condition, an' tell it t' de others, or y' could let us all sleep, an' 'ave de honour of tellin' it t' us personally, in de mornin'."  
  
Hank looked around again. Scott was leaning on the wall; with his glasses, it was hard to tell whether his eyes were open or not. Jean was head-down on the table, snoring, but what startled him was that over the tops of her glasses, he could see her eyes open. That was pretty scary. That got him to thinking: maybe she had trained herself to sleep with her eyes open, and maybe she did that in class also. Interesting.  
  
Remy waved his hand in Hank's face, making him jerk back. "What's de verdict?"  
  
"You can go to sleep. I'll talk in the morning."  
  
"Nice t' know." He picked up Rogue and phased through the wall.  
  
Hank looked around the room. He picked up Scott and put him on the nearest sofa. He put Kurt and the rest on other pieces of furniture, making sure that they were comfortable. He sighed as he left the room, shutting off the light. Being a teacher was not any easy task, and being a teacher to an assorted bunch of mutants made the job ten times harder.  
  
*-*  
  
The next morning started a little late, as the teachers had stayed up till nearly half past three discussing the ways to stop the random power switching; Evan, Kitty and Kurt had slept at about three, after playing cards the whole time (a movie was put on in the middle, but the glasses gave everyone headaches). Scott had slept about half an hour after Jean, who had slept at one thirty. Remy and Rogue had not gotten much sleep at all, but had woken up pretty early. That was why when Remy stepped outside after leaving Rogue in the kitchen making breakfast, he saw Scott awake, and cleaning his car. Jean was nowhere in sight. He walked up to Scott.  
  
"Mornin' Scooter. Where's de Princess?"  
  
Scott looked up at Remy. "Good morning, Rem. She's inside, freshening up." He smiled, remembering something. "It was so cool, looking at her beautiful face without these stifling glasses. Finally she wasn't tinted red. I'll cherish the memories of our morning walk together forever." He bent down to his task with renewed vigour, Jean's face framed in his mind giving him add impetus.  
  
"Remy feel happy for y', Scooter." He leaned against a tree, watching Scott happily polish his car. "Remy's dream came true last night too." Scott stopped polishing the car and looked up at Remy again, his face serious.  
  
"I should report you for that transgression, Remy."  
  
"Y' knew?"  
  
"I had a telepathic conversation with you five minutes before that. Yes I knew."  
  
"Y' read our t'oughts?"  
  
"Of course not! What kind of pervert do you think I am? I asked Jean how she stopped herself from listening to others thoughts, and she told me."  
  
"Remy guesses he c'n live wit' dat. It's not like he has 'ny ot'er choice." He paused for a bit. "So, are you gon' t' report us?"  
  
Scott's face softened. "I couldn't make myself. I know that you and Rogue can't be intimate at all when this is over, so I felt the most inhumane thing I could do in a lifetime was to report you for it." He started hosing the car off. "And I think I also made some kind of psychic shield around your room, so that Xavier couldn't pick up thoughts from you. Of course, not even Jean can block out Xavier, but I tried to keep it so he would only get your thoughts if he tried to, and not randomly. Boast all you want about finally getting some, but don't tell anyone I tried to help you. I don't want anyone thinking their leader's gone soft."  
  
Remy smiled. "I wouldn' brag 'bout dat. Not 'bout Rogue. An' my lips are sealed 'bout y'r transgr'ssion. An' now, if y' are finally done wit' de car, we c'n go an' have breakfast."  
  
*-*  
  
The meeting in the war room was much more encouraging for Hank than last nights' had been. For a start, all his students were awake. For another thing, he couldn't see Jean's eyes behind those glasses, and thank God for that. He was a man of science, and he knew about the occurrence of such phenomena, but it had seriously thrown him off balance. Then again, he wasn't used to seeing the teens like this, Evan hanging from the ceiling, Scott taking stuff from the refrigerator without opening it, and Kitty floating slightly.  
  
"Okay now, students, we may have found the cure for the power switching." Jean smiled at him, looking over the top of her glasses. She had familiar red-on-black eyes. "Ah, could you wait just a second?" Hank quickly stepped outside the room.  
  
He muttered to himself, uncaring of who saw him "A man of science, McCoy. Pull yourself together. She is a very lovely little girl. She should not be bothering you. She has nice eyes. Yes. They are not in the slightest way bloodcurdling. Yes. In you go now." He stepped back in.  
  
"Ah, so where was I?" Before anyone could say anything, the same cry filled the air, the monster, reawakened.  
  
Hank sighed. "Is this the monster?" There were seven affirmative nods. "Then I'll tell you after we capture it. Scott, the teachers are coming, so you have to hand over your field leader authority to Xavier."  
  
Scott nodded. "I understand. But I want second command." Hank nodded acquiescence. "Then let's go." 


	6. Command

Apologies to all reading this story. Circumstances prevented updating earlier. The quotation for the chapter is the following:  
  
"On they fight for they are right,  
Yes, but who's to say?"  
  
That's 'For Whom the Bell Tolls' by Metallica. Maybe some of you have heard of them.  
  
Anyway, on with the story now:  
  
Chapter Six: Command.  
  
The X-jet was waiting, with Xavier, Logan and Ororo inside when Hank arrived with the teenagers. They quickly got in and buckled up.  
  
"Aren't you afraid of having your powers switched around as well, Professor?" Scott asked, strapping himself in. Before Xavier could reply, Logan spoke up.  
  
"We won't be makin' as big a mess of things, Scooter."  
  
"I would say that we hope to have more success against him," Xavier said.  
  
"De diplomat - says de nastiest t'ings in de nicest way," Remy told the air. Everyone ignored him as Xavier continued speaking.  
  
"The monster is at the football field. Now, we only have a couple of minutes to get there, so listen carefully to the game plan I have devised: first of all, who has Jean's power?"  
  
"I do," Kurt replied.  
  
"Okay. Nightcrawler and I will get everyone out of there, by telepathy. There should not be any casualties if you misuse someone's ability, and we don't want anyone seeing our powers on display. Secondly, since only Storm, Beast, Wolverine and I have proper, permanent powers, we will keep the same positions. The rest of you switch according to the following ways: those with ranged attacks, such as Cyclops's, Spyke's or Gambit's should stay with Storm, and blast it. Whoever has Rogue's power can help Wolverine and Beast take out the Brotherhood. The person who has Jean's power will come with me and try to mentally take out the monster. Got it?" The teens nodded.  
  
"One more thing: the monster must not be killed. We the teachers believe he is being controlled by a device Mystique has in her possession, and it must be retrieved so that your power switching may be finished. Any questions?"  
  
"We stopped it with a sofa," Scott said. "Why do we need teachers?" Jean barely held back a gasp at his disrespect.  
  
"Mystique wasn't there at the mall. The monster was on a sort of autopilot. She is here now, though, and if the same thing happens, she would probably force it to get up and start attacking again. Also, maybe you hit it on its only weak spot or something. We should not take any risks."  
  
The football field came into view just then. It was in flames, and there were people running around everywhere. The monster was using the posts to destroy the stands. The Brotherhood was there, with Mystique, and they were standing around, doing nothing.  
  
"They are waiting for us." Logan growled.  
  
"Nightcrawler, send out thoughts, quickly. Look at a person, and tell him to run away." Kurt did so, his face soon sweating with concentration. Everyone piled out as the jet landed near the edge of the field away from the monster.  
  
The Brotherhood saw them, and Mystique looked down at something she held in her hand. She pressed a part of it, and the monster stopped. She spoke to it, and it turned around to where the X-men were, and started walking, the Brotherhood just behind.  
  
Just then, Kurt coughed, and a two foot long tongue shot out. He stumbled in shock.  
  
"Powers have switched again, I see." Hank said as he helped Kurt up. While he was doing so, Kitty screamed. The X-men turned to look at her, and most gasped in shock. She was bloated like a beach ball, like a balloon, like-  
  
"De Blob!" Remy exclaimed.  
  
"Maybe it's proximity?" Jean suggested.  
  
"That would seem so," Xavier said, pointing to the Brotherhood. "Look."  
  
Lance was throwing out a red optic beam, while the whole Brotherhood jumped out of its way. Mystique was also on the ground, and the monster had stopped walking.  
  
"Now what?" Scott asked, looking at Xavier.  
  
"Same thing." He replied, "Anyone who has ranged attacks, get the monster. Anyone with close-up attacks, get the Brotherhood. Anyone who has a defensive power, like Nightcrawler's, Shadowcat's, or Quicksilver's; distract the monster, or fight the brotherhood at your discretion. Now, take your positions, while calling out whose powers you have."  
  
Ororo walked forward. Hank and Logan walked past her.  
  
Evan walked up to Ororo. "I have Remy's power, prof,"  
  
Jean walked up to where Ororo was. "I have Spyke's power, professor." She said, as she reached where Ororo was.  
  
Kurt walked to Logan and Hank. He smelt horrible. "Uh, professor, I seem to have Toad's power." Hank and Logan, both with sensitive noses, distanced themselves from him.  
  
"Kitty, I think you should sit this one out," Xavier said, gently. She was crying.  
  
"An'rexics nigh'mare," Remy told Scott, who nodded.  
  
Rogue wasn't sure what her powers were. She thought about a place. Nothing happened. She tried charging a blade of grass. Still nothing. She took a step forward, and her foot jerked two feet ahead. She tried jogging to where Xavier was, and found herself there in half a second. "Ah have Quicksilver's power, prof," She said, a trifle giddily, being unused to the speed.  
  
Remy wasn't sure either. So he thought about Evan slapping himself. Evan did slap himself, so he thought about floating. He got off the ground, and floated to where Xavier was. "I'm de Princess," He said.  
  
Scott also wasn't sure. He looked at his hands, imagining beating up Lance. The ground trembled. He grinned, as evilly as Scott Summers was capable of. "I have Alvers' power." He said, but he walked up to Logan and Hank, instead of Ororo, explaining the reason to Xavier as he did so, "There are enough people to take the monster down, and not enough for the Brotherhood, so I'll take them on." *And beat up Alvers again* he grinned inwardly. Remy laughed and Xavier frowned.  
  
Remy added up everything mentally as he saw the others take their positions. *So it's Stormy, Jean an' Porcupine against de monster; Rogue is on int'rference, Charles an' me are against ev'ryone, but mainly against de monster, an' Scooter, Kurt, Logan an' Beast are against de Brotherhood an' Mystique.*  
  
"Quite astute, Gambit," Professor Xavier muttered as he scanned the field. Suddenly he saw a shadowy figure running down the bleachers. He paused for an instant to confirm the figures' identity, and then shot off a telepathic message to Logan:  
  
*Logan, Sabertooth is heading for you.*  
  
*-*  
  
Logan got the message a split second before his own nose, distracted by Kurt's newly acquired smell, picked out Creed's distinctive aroma.  
  
"Beast, take care of Mystique, and hope Cyclops and Nightcrawler can take the Brotherhood out on their own." He turned and ran up the stands, after Sabertooth.  
  
"Is it too much to ask?" Hank inquired Scott and Kurt.  
  
"Watch this," Scott replied. He clenched his hand, and the entire stadium shook. He grinned and clenched his hand harder. The stands threatened to crumble and fall. The whole Brotherhood had fallen, apart from Toad, who was rotating slowly in mid-air, and even the monster was on its' knees. He laughed at the power he had.  
  
Suddenly he realized that he was sprawling on the grass. Lance had probably shot an optic blast at him, but he would show him. He got up again, and resumed the earthquake. He was knocked down again, and this time there was a person on him. He focused on the person, and realized it was Beast. *Hank is a traitor?* He thought in shock. Then he noticed Hank was trying to shout something at him.  
  
"Stop it! You're killing us!" Hank bellowed in his ear. Startled, Scott looked towards the X-men's end of the field. Everyone there was also fallen on the floor, with the exception of Storm and Remy, who could fly, and Xavier, who was hovering in a TK bubble Remy had made. The football field was in ruins.  
  
*-*  
  
When the earthquake started, the Brotherhood were about to attack. After the earthquake, however, most people were interested in surviving. None of the Brotherhood could fly, apart from Todd, who had Rogue's power, and wasn't sure how to use it anyway.  
  
"Are you controlling Summers'?" Lance bellowed, his hands covering his eyes as he tried desperately to keep them closed and not do further damage to his team.  
  
"The monster is emitting resonances, which are directed at him," Mystique shouted back over the screams of the others.  
  
"So you're getting us all killed on purpose?" Lance yelled.  
  
"The control is not working properly. It fell when that idiot started your earthquakes. We're going to be in even more serious trouble if the stupid monster decides to stop the powers again,"  
  
*-*  
  
The X-men were in the same state of affairs. Storm took to the air and watched helplessly as the mutants around her fell on the floor when the tremors started. Then she looked towards Xavier and saw Remy trying to stay in the air while making a telekinetic bubble around Xavier, who was really getting bashed about. He finally succeeded, but Xavier was so shaken he could not telepathically make Scott stop.  
  
"Remy! Use your telepathy to stop Scott!" Storm shouted to him.  
  
"Remy can't Stormy, he's goin' t' fall if he does a t'ird t'ing," He said, and she noticed that his hovering was really shaky, and so was Xavier in the telekinetic bubble.  
  
She was about to use wind to knock Scott down, but she saw that Hank had pushed him down. The trembling stopped and she let out a sigh of relief. But her relief was short-lived as Scott got up and started making more earthquakes. The new earthquakes were more powerful, and they knocked down both Kurt and Hank, as well as Logan and Sabertooth up in the stands. Hank got up almost instantly, however, and this time gave Scott a football tackle. The earthquakes stopped again as Hank seemed to be shouting at Scott to come to his senses. Finally Scott looked around him and gasped in shock as he saw the damage he had created.  
  
"Remy, ask Xavier for instructions," Storm said, not taking her eyes off Scott.  
  
"Je ne peux pas, Stormy," Remy said, reverting to French in his worry, "Xavier's out of it."  
  
Storm turned and looked at Xavier, and saw him slumped in his wheelchair, a trickle of blood running down his forehead.  
  
"I, I lost control on the las' series of 'quakes," Remy moaned, "an' he fell headfirst. I'm sorry Stormy," He didn't even look at her, upset at his failure.  
  
"There's nothing we can do about it, now, Remy. And maybe even Jean could not have helped him." She replied, trying to make him feel better.  
  
"What do we do now?" He asked.  
  
"What can we do? Scott takes over as our leader."  
  
*-*  
  
Scott was still in shock. "I did all that?" He asked dazedly, as Hank helped him to his feet.  
  
"Indubitably," Hank answered.  
  
"Now what?" Scott asked him.  
  
Hank pointed to where the rest of the X-men were. Almost all were fallen, apart from Storm and Remy. "Maybe we should regroup?" He asked.  
  
"Yeah, that would be a good idea," Scott replied unsteadily, although he had been unaffected by the earthquakes.  
  
Kurt, Scott and Hank walked to where the X-men were. Storm met them stonily. "Cyclops is our leader," She told Hank. Hank raised an eyebrow.  
  
"What about the professor? Wasn't he in a protective bubble?" he asked.  
  
"Mister Lebeau is not the telepath Miss Grey is," She replied, looking at Hank. "He could not hold on to the bubble, and was forced to let Professor Xavier drop. He got injured in the fall." Her tone was glacial ice. She turned to Scott. "What do we do now, leader?"  
  
Scott was taken aback. "I got everyone into this mess, and I'm being retained as leader?" he exclaimed incredulously.  
  
"When Xavier gives someone second command, he knows why." Hank said, his tone sounding unconvinced.  
  
"But it was you who gave me second command, when I asked for it," Scott said.  
  
"The teachers had discussed the issue of who was to be second in command before, and we had chosen you. If you hadn't asked for second command, Xavier would have given it to you." Hank replied, looking across the field to where the Brotherhood were getting to their feet. The monster was still on its knees though, and Mystique was furiously jabbing a black pyramid, which was probably the control device. "Maybe you should start issuing commands, leader?"  
  
"Yeah, okay. First we need a detail on who got injured in the, uh, attack," He looked at Storm. "Apart from Professor Xavier, of course."  
  
"Of course," Storm replied dryly. "I have already done that, and Rogue and Evan can still fight. Jean however, may have an arm broken, and she is releasing spikes in pain. Remy has managed to telekinetically carry her to the corner of the field. Scott, are you listening?" She looked at him. He was transfixed, looking straight ahead.  
  
"I hurt Jean," He said aloud, but he was talking to himself. He left Ororo and Hank behind and started walking towards where Jean was lying.  
  
Ororo and Hank looked at each other.  
  
"I guess that makes you leader, Ororo,"  
  
"By the goddess! If I wasn't answerable to Xavier, that idiot would have more than a few thunderbolts up his-"  
  
"Ororo?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"May I remind you that you are a teacher?"  
  
"Well if you're going to, then you better do it quick, because my fingers are tingling."  
  
Kurt interrupted their conversation. "How many active members do we have?" he demanded.  
  
"You, Hank, Remy, Rogue, Evan and I. Logan is fighting Creed." Ororo replied, looking at the Brotherhood. None of them appeared visibly injured. She knew the X-men might not make it out of this one. Just then, Toad touched Quicksilver and he fell to the ground. Well, that evened the odds a little, but they still had a towering monster to take care of.  
  
*-*  
  
"I don't feel too good," Todd said, wobbling around. He held Pietro for support. This was not good for the Brotherhood, as he held Pietro's bare arm and began draining the life out of him. He realised what he was doing, and let go in shock, but not before Pietro slumped to the ground, unconscious.  
  
"Aw, geez, I had Rogue's powers." He looked down at Pietro. "Sorry, Speedy." Then he tried wiggling his fingers, to see if he could use the power that Pietro had and he had absorbed. Nothing happened. "Thanks a lot," He told the inert Pietro, "some powers you turned out to have."  
  
Tabitha was bamfing from place to place. She chortled with glee. Freddy, who was still pretty fat, even after the loss of his powers, found himself releasing cherry bombs all over. He grinned stupidly, and was whacked on the head by Mystique.  
  
"Stop releasing cherry bombs all over," she snapped. "Throw it at the X- men if you have to,"  
  
"How do you aim?"  
  
"How the hell am I supposed to know?" she snapped, leaving him and trying to go to Tabitha, who was still bamfing.  
  
"Stop bamfing," she snapped at Tabitha.  
  
"What?" called Tabitha, who was now at the other side of the field.  
  
"I said, stop bamfing!" Mystique shouted. Tabitha bamfed next to her.  
  
"What did you say?" Tabitha asked. Mystique turned red with anger, but her skin was blue, so she turned purple.  
  
"Cool colour," Tabitha said, rubbing Mystique's nose.  
  
"Don't do that!" Mystique yelled, slapping away Tabitha's hand. "Now bamf over to where Scott and Jean Grey are, and take Scott's visor and bamf back here and give it to Lance so he can use Scott's power. Got that?"  
  
"I thought I wasn't allowed to bamf."  
  
Mystique turned into a dragon. "Go." Said the dragon, flames coming out of its nostrils.  
  
"(Gulp) Yes, of course," Tabitha stammered, and disappeared.  
  
*-*  
  
Scott was trying to get close to Jean, but she kept sending out spikes, and he was having a hard time avoiding them.  
  
"Jean!" he called, trying to stop her.  
  
"Scott!" she said, her body arcing in spasms, "Scott, stay away! I, I can't control these spikes!"  
  
"Jean I'm sorry. Jean, this is all my fault."  
  
"Don't worry," she gasped, even though she was rolling on the ground and throwing spikes like a geyser, "Everything will be alright."  
  
"My God, Jean," Scott said, still trying to get close. "I never knew you were such a damnably good liar."  
  
Just then, Tabitha bamfed up to Scott.  
  
"Hello, Scott," she said, as she lifted his visor off, and bamfed away again. He was too stunned to reply, and for a split second even closed his eyes, before remembering that he could no longer shoot optic beams. Any thoughts of chasing after Tabitha were driven away as Jean finally stopped tossing spikes. He ran to her, and took her into his arms, whispering in her ear, "It's going to be alright Jean; everything will be alright."  
  
"Didn't I just say that?" she inquired tiredly, exhausted by all the spikes she had expended. He thought about it.  
  
"No you didn't," he told her. "Now rest in my arms until you're feeling better."  
  
"I think my arm is broken,"  
  
"Stay here, I'll get the first aid kit," he put her carefully on the ground.  
  
"Scott?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"What good will a first aid kit do?"  
  
"I'm sure we'll figure something out Jean,"  
  
*-*  
  
"Okay, Evan, you take on Toad; Hank, you take Mystique; Rogue, you take The Blob; Kurt, fight Tabitha; Remy and I will take care of the monster."  
  
"What about Lance?" Kurt asked Ororo.  
  
"He's useless without a visor."  
  
"He has a visor," Remy said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah, see?" Remy pointed towards Lance, "Dats him over dere."  
  
"Arrggggghhhhh!" Storm screamed in frustration as she started rising, her irises disappearing, "Scott, you inept, useless moron, you let him take your visor. Mangy, flea bitten-"  
  
"Poor Lance," Remy said, his tone unsympathetic, "She's goin' t' take it out on him."  
  
Storm rose above the ruined football field, and called to all the winds to come, and to the rain to fall, and for the heavens to show their anger and-  
  
"Yeah yeah, we get de point," Remy shouted from below.  
  
The football field was covered in darkness as rain fell and lightning crashed everywhere, while Storm looked on.  
  
"Get them while they're distracted!" she ordered.  
  
"What about Lance?" Kurt inquired.  
  
"Screw Lance!" Storm ordered in distinctly un-Storm-like fashion.  
  
"Ick." Kurt said.  
  
Everyone looked at him.  
  
"She doesn't mean it literally, âne," Remy informed him.  
  
"But still, eeyuck." Kurt insisted.  
  
"If a few thunderbolts will speed you up?" a voice inquired from above, "I would be happy to oblige."  
  
"No t'anks," Remy called, "We're good t' go." The group broke up into individuals seeking out the enemy they had been assigned. Remy was left alone, and he his face paled as he realised why.  
  
"Merde, I have t' face de stupid monster."  
  
*-*  
  
"You suck," Sabertooth told Wolverine.  
  
"Ya ain't much better, bub," Wolverine replied. Most of the stands lay sliced to ruins below them. Somehow, they had managed to reach the commentary box while fighting. Their fight had been interrupted by Scott's earthquakes, but only to a minor extent, and there was plenty of time for them to continue hacking and slashing at each other. Wolverine slashed at Sabertooth, missing and activating the mike instead.  
  
"You ain't much good at fighting at close quarters, runt," Sabertooth informed him.  
  
"Oh yeah?" Wolverine asked, as his claws ripped open Sabertooth's shirt, leaving thin red lines, which dried up almost instantly due to Sabertooth's accelerated healing factor.  
  
"Oh yeah," Sabertooth said, nearly chortling with glee.  
  
Wolverine kicked a chair at him. Sabertooth slashed at it, sending it to the side, but it threw him off guard for Wolverine's next attack, which nearly stuck into his side. Although he avoided the full blow narrowly, he was still pretty hurt.  
  
"Yer time's run out, Creed," Wolverine said.  
  
"I don't think so, Logan," Sabertooth said, as he grabbed the mike and threw it at Wolverine. It was sparking from Wolverine's cut, and it gave him a minor electrocution. Wolverine bellowed in anger and pain.  
  
"Argh, son of a -"  
  
*-*  
  
"Profane, isn't he?" Beast asked of no-one in particular, as he fought Mystique. Both were skilled in fighting, and so far, neither had managed to get the upper hand. Wolverine and Sabertooth's abuses could be heard, amplified over the field.  
  
"He's your team-mate," Mystique said, her face just beginning to acquire a sheen of sweat.  
  
Hank was beginning to perspire also. "Indubitably, but your associate is no less irreverent."  
  
"Yes, well, we don't keep him for his table manners, do we?"  
  
"Hmm, well, you are right of course, but it would be nice if you tried to teach him to curb his tongue, would it not?"  
  
"You are beginning to bother me, McCoy, shut up and fight."  
  
Beast got into the position he was looking for, and gave a sweeping scissors kick, taking out Mystique's legs from under her.  
  
"You know, Raven, when I fight, I try to distract the other person by talking." Hank said as he looked for something to tie her up with.  
  
"Nice to know," she said, as she transformed into a mouse to escape. Hank caught her, and held her from her tail by his fingers. He then tied her with some shoelace he produced from his pocket.  
  
"I always carry a spare shoelace," He chuckled as he tucked the mouse, in a full body bind, inside his pocket, "and I suggest you don't try to turn human again, Miss Darkholme. I believe it would be most painful."  
  
*-*  
  
Down the pitch, the stupid monster laughed, even though he hadn't heard Remy. Remy, however, thought he had heard his stupid monster comment, and his face paled even more.  
  
"But I have Jean's power," he muttered, "so I can stay right here, and hit him." He concentrated on lifting the monster up as far as he was able to, like he had Xavier. However, he had lifted Xavier about a foot off the ground, and that was how far he was able to lift a man probably a quarter the weight of the monster. His concentration broken at the realization of how badly he was going to fail, and he stared unhappily at the monster.  
  
*C'mon, Remy, can't y' t'ink of sumt'in' morale-boostin'?* he asked himself. He waited a bit to try and think of something morale boosting. *not really,* he admitted sheepishly.  
  
*Well den, are y' gon' t' let de monster kill Rogue?* he asked himself.  
  
*But de monster ain't nowhere near Rogue,* he argued.  
  
*Well, he'll get t' her eventually,* he thought, and the thought angered him. It angered him enough to charge madly at the monster, forgetting all about Jean's telekinetic powers. He let out a Braveheart type yell as he did so. The monster turned to stare at him in shock, wondering how stupid this scrawny little creature, half his size, was. He picked up Remy again, as Remy came near, and held him with one hand.  
  
"Remy ain't scrawny," Remy shouted, as he tried ineffectively, to get free. The monster stopped his other hand from smashing Remy's face in, and looked at him curiously.  
  
*You can understand me?* the monster thought.  
  
"Yeah, I'm telepathic. At de momen' 'nyway." Remy said, trying to break the monsters grip on him, and failing.  
  
*You're the first person to understand me,* thought the monster.  
  
"Dat's nice t' know," Remy said, still struggling. "Now can you put me down?"  
  
The monster shook its head. *I have orders to kill you.* thought the monster. Remy stopped struggling and looked at him.  
  
"I am de firs' person t' understan' y', an' y'd still kill me?" asked Remy incredulously. The monster nodded.  
  
*The only way I will not kill you, is if someone changed the orders. Otherwise, I have to kill you*  
  
"But we could be buddies, soulmates, whatever," Remy babbled, afraid to get his face squashed in, "can't y' kill someone else?"  
  
*I will regret it, indeed, but you are closest to me.* the monster raised his hand again.  
  
Now Remy was desperate, and with a focus born of determination, he lifted the both of them to the height Storm was at, which was more than a few stories above the ground. Storm looked at them in surprise as she continued directing lightning bolts all over the field.  
  
The monster had not hit Remy yet, and it looked around curiously from its new vantage point, thoughts of disfiguring Remy temporarily forgotten.  
  
"One question," Remy said. The monster looked at him. "Can y' survive a fall from dis high?" the monster nodded.  
  
"Good." Remy made a bubble separating him from the monster, and releasing the monster. It fell to the ground with a crash.  
  
"Well," said Remy, as he hovered on the brink of falling again, and narrowly managed to save himself. "dat's done wit'." But then he saw the monster get up again.  
  
*-*  
  
Meanwhile, Lance had come to where Scott was tending Jean, and was shooting concussive blasts at them. Scott was trying to make a localised earthquake, which did not spread to all parts of the field. The tremors he produced, while not too effective, did manage to throw off Lance's aim, so that Lance did not hit him or Jean.  
  
They were again evenly matched, as they had been in the mall, because this time neither knew how to make full use of his powers. Lance continued trying to aim while staying on his feet; Scott concentrated on watching for any blast which may hit Jean, and trying to increase the power of his earthquake while containing it in the area around Lance. While they were doing so, Lance kept taunting him.  
  
"We're one-all, Summers, in the past week, you've won one, and I've won one. Doesn't that bother you?"  
  
"It does," Scott said shortly, still trying to take him down, while staying close to Jean.  
  
"Well, I'm going to beat you again,"  
  
Suddenly Scott noticed the monster fall, and get up almost instantly. It charged the X-men fighting in the middle of the field, scattering them. For a moment, he was torn between assuaging his ego, and saving his team. Then he made his decision.  
  
"Lance, I'm going to kill you."  
  
Jean was looking on from the ground, and seeing the team getting beaten up. She screamed, "Scott you idiot! Save the others!" Scott looked at Lance, noticing out of the corner of his eye the monster pick up Beast and smash him to the ground, making a mouse fall out of his pocket in the process. But Scott had no time to think about what a mouse was doing in Beast's pocket.  
  
"Jean, honey, could you snap your fingers for as long as you possibly can?"  
  
Jean did so, and started letting loose a stream of spikes, making Lance fall back under the assault. Scott ran past him to where the others were. He used Lance's power.  
  
*-*  
  
Remy looked down, and saw Scott running to the others, about to create more earthquakes. *Dat dum'ass is goin' t' kill 'em all dis time,* he thought, and concentrated on getting the X-men away from the monster. He created four TK bubbles, around Rogue, Nightcrawler, Beast and Spyke and flung them away, hoping the impact wouldn't kill them. He noticed he was falling when he was about ten feet above the ground.  
  
*-*  
  
Scott saw the four X-men getting flung away, and he thought the monster had done something to them as he couldn't see the telekinetic bubbles. In his anger he created a massive earthquake, breaking open the ground between the monster and closing the hole as the monster fell, crushing him. Only his upper body remained above the ground after Scott stopped. The battle at the field was over. 


	7. They Come

This chapter is more in the way of a breather than anything else. Well, that's my opinion anyway. You can judge for yourselves.  
  
Now for the prerequisite quote:  
  
"With the lights out, it's less dangerous,  
Here we are now, entertain us."  
  
Er, I really don't think I need to identify the source of this quote; but a couple of people who have been living in a hole for the past ten years may have trouble identifying the song. You see, it's a song called 'Smells Like Teen Spirit', and it was made by a little band called Nirvana. If you pay attention to these small bands and their little songs, it might make you a better person.  
  
I apologise if I may have come on a little too strongly; I don't want to insult anyone living in a hole for the past tens years, but even MTV calls this the best song in the world, and we all know how biased towards kiddie pop MTV is.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters I am writing about. Marvel does. But you already knew that, didn't you?  
  
*-*  
  
Chapter Seven: They Come.  
  
The meeting in the war room the day after the monster was stopped was a lot more subdued than the meeting which had taken place before the X-men had gone to fight the monster and the Brotherhood. Xavier had his head wrapped in bandages, Jean and Remy had their arms in casts, Remy being lucky Ororo had noticed he was falling and nearly stopped him completely. Hank had a leg broken, and Logan had two busted ribs in the process of healing. Kurt, Rogue and Evan had all suffered multiple bruises in their fights, and especially when Remy had thrown them nearly the length of the field with no protection except an improperly maintained TK shield. Even Ororo, who had taken part in no physical fight, had a migraine. Kitty also wasn't hurt physically because she hadn't fought, but the mental torture she had to go through staring at herself in a mirror and wondering if she would remain like this, was more than enough. The only person who was unhurt was Scott, who had been missing since he had dropped Jean and the others off at the mansion.  
  
Xavier called the meeting to order, looking gravely at his battered team as he did so.  
  
"You all did extremely well yesterday, from what I can make out from the thoughts in your minds. Apart from wanting to know if your powers will be returned to you, I know you are all expecting me to make a comment on what Scott did yesterday."  
  
"Mon Dieu!" Remy said in mock incredulity, "Remy t'ink y'r telepathic, professor!"  
  
Xavier ignored what Remy had said, his face expressionless. "I had told you before we set out, that if the monster was brought back unharmed and the remote acquired, we could restore your powers. While the monster was taken and brought here without too much damage being done, we seem to have lost the remote."  
  
Hank suddenly shifted, and produced a battered black pyramid from behind him. "Er," he said abashedly, "a rat dropped this yesterday. I was looking at it after I had tended to my wounds late last night."  
  
Remy interrupted, an expression of mock disbelief on his face. "Professor! Aren't y' telepat'ic? How did Hank keep it a secret from y'?"  
  
Xavier looked at Remy, his face both amused and irritated at the questions. "Mister Lebeau, I am indeed telepathic, but I do not read other peoples minds for no reason at all; and I had no reason to read Doctor McCoy's mind yesterday." He paused, that mysterious smile forming on his face, "the day before yesterday, two students engaged in, ah, promiscuous activities. Now, I might not have known of that occurrence, or at least not while it was going on, but one of the students decided to shield against me. The shield was not effective, and it acted more like a beacon drawing my attention towards it." Remy tried to keep his face smooth, and keep any thoughts of killing Scott for trying to shield him and Rogue out of his mind. Xavier paused for breath and asked, "Do you believe me when I say I am a telepath now, Remy?"  
  
"Remy guesses he has to, sir." Remy replied, hoping Xavier would ignore him from that point on, and continue with the briefing. Just then a mental projection sprang into his mind.  
  
*Remy, under ordinary circumstances, I would be forced to impose punitive measures on you, but the X-men are anything but ordinary, and Rogue is perhaps the most extraordinary of us all. I know you did what you did knowing that there might not be a second time for you both. I could not bear to punish you for that.* Remy gaped. Xavier knew! Then he realised that Xavier was speaking, while talking to Remy mentally. That made him gape further. The man was talking in two ways at once!  
  
"Well, Hank, I hope you have unlocked the secret to the operation of the key."  
  
Remy sent a thought; although he did not have Jean's power; and hoped Xavier would catch on to it. He wanted to tell Xavier what was on his mind, as well as see if his speech was disrupted in any way.  
  
*Sir, Scott made nearly de exac' same speech t' me yesterday.*  
  
Xavier paused in the middle of his speech, but managed to look like he was pausing for effect. Remy was impressed.  
  
*Well, it seems he is quite astute then, if he made the connection between you two.*  
  
While sending thoughts, he had resumed talking. "There is another key that Mystique has, and if we cannot make use of this, we may have to go and steal that one." Just then another mental projection popped into Remy's head.  
  
*Could you tell me who threw up that shield yesterday, Remy?*  
  
*Will you mistreat dat student, sir?*  
  
*Of course not, I haven't mistreated you for taking far greater liberties, have I?*  
  
*Guess not,*  
  
Outwardly, Xavier seemed to be looking thoughtful as Hank expounded upon how he thought he had unlocked the key, and how he thought Mystique had spent the greater part of three days doing the same.  
  
".well, if you see the facts, the monster was not awakened until about three days after the incident at the dike between the two student parties. That would suggest Mystique could not figure out the way to operate the key, even though she is an expert at such gadgetry." he paused, expecting some sort of comment from Xavier.  
  
"Indeed," Xavier said. Hank looked gratified and continued.  
  
*Professor?*  
  
*Yes, Remy?*  
  
*It was Scott who put the shield up.*  
  
*WHAT??* Everyone grabbed their heads in pain.  
  
"Did you just hear someone shout 'what' right now?" Kurt asked Evan. He nodded. Everyone else also said they had heard it, including Xavier, who had the sense to align himself with the group.  
  
"Man, now this is getting freaky," Evan said. All the teens nodded.  
  
"Could we get back to the key?" asked Xavier, anxious to get the topic of discussion away from thoughts inside people's heads, as he was the stronger telepath in the room.  
  
"Yes, so I was saying," Hank continued smoothly, "I think I can make it work. There is just one problem though, it needs all the people who had their powers taken together, and that includes-"  
  
"The Brotherhood," Everyone said. Hank nodded.  
  
"Indubitably."  
  
*-*  
  
The Brotherhood was also having problems of its own. Remy hadn't paid attention to them when he was putting his team-mates out of danger, the monster hadn't cared who he was hitting, and Scott would have been only too happy to have broken Brotherhood bones as collateral damage. Todd and Tabitha both had broken legs, Pietro was still dizzy from Todd inadvertently absorbing his powers, and even Freddy was a little hurt during the monsters attack and Scott's earthquakes after. He was mostly cushioned by a thick layer of fat, even after losing his powers, but damage had still been done. Lance was patched up, the number of perforations indicating how unsuccessful he had been in avoiding Jean's attacks. Sabertooth had disappeared in the middle of the night, probably to roam the church and try to catch and eat mice like he did whenever he could not beat Wolverine in a fight. He had a cracked skull, although it did not alter his usual level of sanity, probably because there was no way the level of his sanity could sink further. Mystique had lacerations all over her body; Beast had not been overly concerned about whether she even had enough room to breathe when she was tied up and kept in his pocket. Mystique, like Xavier had also called a meeting.  
  
"They have the monster, and they have the remote. We must infiltrate their base and recover both things." Mystique said in her characteristic snarl. Her statement was greeted by a response from everyone present.  
  
"Xavier's mansion?" Lance asked incredulously, "Mystique, you're either joking, or you've lost it."  
  
"What? How in heck will we carry a stupid monster? We're all disabled." Pietro said in shock.  
  
"Can we have our powers fixed?" Tabitha asked, "Its getting soo annoying everytime I puff up. I mean, what if this happened at school. It's a good thing we have the hols right now."  
  
"Can't you give him a name?" Todd enquired, "I mean I know my feelings would get hurt if everyone called me monster."  
  
"Where's food?" Fred asked.  
  
Mystique impatiently waved a hand. "Let me answer one question at a time," she said. "First yours Lance. Yes, Xavier's mansion. Pietro, we will work on that right now. I'm sure it can be arranged somehow. Yes, Tabitha, we'll fix you powers," *If I find out how to,* "no, Todd, calling him monster is fine. Fred, go to your room."  
  
"That doesn't answer my question!"  
  
"Food is in your room. Now leave while the intelligent people discuss strategy." She looked around. "Todd, you leave as well." As Fred and Todd were leaving the room she added, "Tabitha, you too." And almost instantly after that, "Lance, Pietro, you two can go also." As all the teens filed out, she shook her head. "I really to find some good students. Xavier has Storm, Beast and Wolverine as teachers to discuss strategy with, as well as capable students like Jean Grey and Scott Summers." She sat down to evolve a strategy that would help the Brotherhood retake the monster.  
  
Mystique was almost completely right. As she spoke, Xavier was discussing the possible ways to bring the Brotherhood to the X-men with Hank, Ororo, Logan and Jean. Scott, however, was missing.  
  
*-*  
  
He sat outside the highway restaurant, head hanging down and rain dripping down his hair onto his clothes, onto his coffee. His name was Scott Summers, and he had a problem. Not your run of the mill too-late-to- complete-homework type problem, but a more serious problem.  
  
For years after his parents had died in a plane accident, he had grown up in a place where he learnt of his own special power, the power to absorb energy from the sun and convert it into an optic blast. He had been taught how to control it by a man he thought of as his father. He had, in the time after the power had manifested, lost control occasionally, but not like this. Never like this.  
  
And now he was afraid to go back. He knew that when he got back, he would probably be welcomed like he had never left. He knew no-one would seriously blame him for what had happened at the field. Not to his face at least. But there was no way of knowing how they really felt about him, what they said behind his back. Maybe Xavier had a file on him which now said 'consider dangerous'. He had always prided himself on being controlled, and had made it his foundation. He had thought he had the restraint and cold thinking required to be a leader. He had always felt he was reliable, responsible, trustworthy. And he had lost it all in the space of a few seconds it had taken to abuse Lance's power.  
  
His world was shattering around him.  
  
He got off his motorcycle, and gave the coffee back inside the restaurant, untouched. The waitress looked at him quizzically as he paid for the undrunk coffee and walked out the door. He got onto his motorcycle and sped off down the highway. His name was Scott Summers, and he needed to clear his head of any thoughts he had. He needed to be comforted by someone he loved.  
  
"Jean," he whispered as his motorcycle sped across the deserted road.  
  
*-*  
  
Xavier looked intently at the teens as they sat in the war-room. "Mystique is bringing the Brotherhood here, to try and take the monster." As expected, there were several questions.  
  
"But, dude, we're all injured. How will we stop them man?"  
  
"They're all hurt. What is Mystique thinkin'? Ah could kick their asses by mahself."  
  
"Are we um, totally prepared? Couldn't she like, bring them next month or something?"  
  
Xavier gave another small smile. "Evan, I think we can manage just fine. Rogue, I suggest you don't try taking them on all at once, even though they have broken limbs. Kitty, Mystique is afraid that we might figure out how to use the monster, although for what, I cannot possibly imagine. It would make a good maidservant, though."  
  
"Wait a sec, prof, dey be comin' here wit' broken hands an' legs?"  
  
"Todd and Tabitha have broken legs."  
  
"I'm sorry; I jus' declared Mystique cert'fiably stupid."  
  
The rest of the team added their voices to the mix, Kurt insisting he was in no condition to fight, Hank, Ororo and Logan asking details, such as the Brotherhood's ETA etc, and Jean trying to tell Xavier how to go about composing a plan. Xavier rapped his knuckles for silence. No one listened. He called out for everyone to be quiet, but his voice was drowned out by nine others. Eventually he grew tired of waiting and gave what could only be described as a mental sneeze. Everyone stopped talking, and grabbed their heads in pain yet again.  
  
"Sorry," Xavier said shortly, smiling. "Now could you all please listen to me? The Brotherhood will arrive within the hour, so we have a terrible dearth of time. Do any of you have any plans?" everyone started speaking again. He waved his hands for silence. This time everyone complied; another mental sneeze was distinctly unlooked for. "Mystique has always had a few surprises up her sleeves. We need to proceed with caution. Now, as I was saying, any ideas?"  
  
"Remy know, why don' y' brainwash Mystique, an' convince her she don' need t' come here?" everyone gasped at his suggestion.  
  
"Remy Lebeau!" Jean said indignantly, "That is the most outrageous suggestion I have heard in all my time here! How could you suggest such a thing?" Kurt seconded her opinion.  
  
"Sugah," Rogue said, looking at him, "ya have a great bod, but no brains." Kitty affirmed this, and blushed as Rogue looked dangerously at her. Remy gaped. They were acting as if he had suggested that Xavier go and seduce Mystique or something.  
  
"Uh, professor, pardon Remy if he said sumthin' stupid, an' could y' please tell him exac'ly jus' what he did say dat was so shocking?" Remy asked, wondering if he was the only sane teen in the room. Xavier smiled.  
  
"You have joined us at a later date than the others, Remy, so you do not know that I never use my telepathy to influence a battle."  
  
"Why de hell not?"  
  
"Language, child. I want you people to have practise at fighting, since these people will constantly hound you throughout your lives for their own goals, and I will not always be there to stop them from harming you?"  
  
"Why don' y' jus' brainwash dem all?"  
  
Xavier looked thoughtful. "Why indeed not?" he asked himself, "Why don't I just brainwash everyone who comes along and turn them into good people?" Jean looked horrified at the suggestion.  
  
"But professor, that would be simply wrong! How can you take over someone's mind like that?"  
  
Xavier smiled. "Like you convince the others to do occasional chores for you?" Jean blushed. Xavier's tone became more serious and his face grew thoughtful again. "But why didn't I think of brainwashing them and ending all this fighting?"  
  
Logan growled. "It's a bit too late in the day to change the script, Chuck. If you had thought about mindwiping those dorks when they joined up with Mystique, we wouldn't be here talking about it now, while she comes to get a monster and try to kill us."  
  
Xavier nodded. "Then let us get back to the matter at hand. Let's devise a strategy."  
  
Remy held his hand up. "Professor, what about brainwashing dem?"  
  
"We won't be doing that, Remy."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because we've never done so. Apparently it goes against our principles."  
  
"It does?"  
  
"Although I have never concretely known what my principles are, yes I believe it does."  
  
"Dat's stupid. C'n Remy be excused from dis meeting?"  
  
"If you feel you cannot contribute to our discussions-"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Remy know de drill. No, I cannot contr'bute if y' refuse t' simply brainwash dem an' get dis over wit'." He walked out the door.  
  
Everyone frowned at Remy's rude behaviour, but resumed their work. They had a mansion to defend.  
  
*-*  
  
Remy got out the door fast, thoughts coming in machine gun bursts. Something in there was wrong. Everyone was doing stupid things, and he had not been in the X-men long enough to know if those stupid things were normal or not. The one person he had interacted most with (apart from Rogue, who thought he was stupid,) was Scott, and he was not present at the meeting. He was the field leader, so he should have been present. Remy took his trench coat and quickly went to the garage. He saw a bike missing. Logan's bike. Scott was going to die when he returned. For some reason he had not taken his car. Maybe he did not want to be traced. The problem was, Remy needed to find him and tell him about the impending attack. He got onto another bike and sped off in the darkness. He had Jean's power again, and he kept sending out telepathic thoughts to Scott, but no answer came.  
  
*-*  
  
"Whose powers does everyone have?" Hank inquired.  
  
"I have Evan's," Kitty said, throwing a spike out as demonstration. It thudded into Xavier's expensive cabinet. Xavier made a face and was about to speak when Kitty shifted. "Wait professor, the powers have switched again. I think I have Remy's power now." The last part of her sentence was cut off by a shriek from Jean. Everyone turned to see her taking up nearly all of a sofa. She had the Blob's powers. After comforting her and calming her down, Xavier asked the others whose powers they had.  
  
"Ah have Evan's now, professor," Rogue said, tossing another spike onto the cabinet.  
  
"I have Lance's, sir," Kurt said.  
  
"I have -" Evan began, and then noticed that everyone was edging away from him. "- Toad's power," he finished lamely.  
  
"What does that tell you?" Xavier asked. As always Jean, even in her present state of near nervous breakdown, had the answer.  
  
"When we came from the mall, our powers kept switching between ourselves, so we could only have the powers of another person from our team. That was because we were not in contact with the Brotherhood. When we met them at the field, it caused us to gain their powers as well. When we left, we had powers that some of the Brotherhood members had. Now, all the powers that we had at the field are switching between ourselves."  
  
"Say what?" Evan interjected.  
  
"Very good, Jean," Xavier said, "Now let me see if I understand your theory. The powers you people had at the field were Remy's, Lance's, Jean's, Evan's, Todd's, Freddy's, and Pietro's. Now you people have Remy's, Lance's, Evan's, Todd's and Freddy's, and two team members are missing, correct?" everyone nodded. "Then we may assume that Remy and Scott have Jean's and Pietro's powers, and that the Brotherhood has Kurt's, Rogue's, Scott's, Tabitha's and Kitty's powers. This should allow us to formulate an effective plan."  
  
*-*  
  
It took nearly all the will he had to keep going, and not ram the motorcycle into a tree. Logan's bike. He had been past the point of caring about what would happen to him if Logan found out when he had taken it. He kept going, staring blindly at the road stretching out before him. Once or twice, he thought he heard his name being called, but he dismissed it as his simply hearing things. No one would want anything to do with him after what he had done.  
  
*-*  
  
*Dat bugger is on de highway,* Remy thought when he had finally found Scott mentally, and had semi-successfully read his mind, *an' he's not answerin'my tel'pathy, an' as far as I c'n tell, he wants to kill himself.* he rode the motorcycle harder, trying to get to Scott as soon as possible. He was gaining on Scott, but only by enough to reach him by midnight or thereabouts. So he tried making a telepathic bubble.  
  
*-*  
  
Somehow, while going down the highway, he had found an invisible wall. Logan's bike lay on the ground, its wheels still spinning from the momentum. He himself was staring at the sky, all breath knocked out of him. But he had to go on. Why? He asked himself. What does it matter? And he realised he could do nothing else, except go on, and stay somewhere, far away from people he could harm, people he loved. He got up and started running, each step taking him the length of a few trees.  
  
*-*  
  
*Non! if he starts runnin' wit' Quicksilver's power, Remy never gon' t' catch him.* Remy thought as he sped past a truck drivers joint. *Remy have t' make anot'er bubble.* while he drove on he tried for another bubble.  
  
*-*  
  
He had run into another invisible obstruction. Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him now. He sat down, waiting for the wall to go, and catching his breath. He had run a few miles in the past minute, and he was feeling hungry. He had stopped questioning why he was meeting walls, or running so fast. He was numbed, uncaring about his fate.  
  
*-*  
  
"He was numbed, uncaring 'bout his fate," Remy muttered. "Dieu! Dat idiot t'inks of himself as some hero from some novel. I wish I hadn't read his mind at dat moment. He was numbed. Bah." He tried sending out another thought for Scott to stop.  
  
*-*  
  
Now someone was calling his name, asking him to stop again. He had known only one person who could do that in a life that seemed so strangely remote now. Jean? He asked the voice hesitantly. Not Jean, you dumbass, the voice replied. Dis is Remy, an' y' better stop where y' are if you know what's good for y'. He sighed. There was only one person who might have stopped him, and she had not cared enough for him to come after him. He got up to run again. If you run again, the voice warned, I will kick your ass from here t' Texas. He shook his head. Jean would never have talked to him like this. I am not Jean, the voice shouted angrily inside his head, now stop dis stupidity Summers. He ignored the voice and started to run.  
  
*-*  
  
*Dat idiot has ignored my voice an' started t' run.* Remy thought frantically. *I must stop him.*  
  
He made yet another bubble, this time trying to keep it in the air.  
  
*-*  
  
He was hanging in the air now. The voice had stopped. He wondered what was going to happen now that he had been captured. Scott, the voice said, y' are an idiot. He knew he was. If he wasn't, he would not have tried killing his surrogate family. Scott, the voice said again, shut up. He did so, awaiting his fate. A motorcycle pulled up about five minutes later.  
  
*-*  
  
Remy pulled up to where Scott was suspended. It was hard, driving while trying to keep a bubble hanging in the air. It was going to be harder convincing Scott to return to the mansion to defend it against Mystique and the Brotherhood. A sudden decrease in perception told him he no longer had Jean's telepathy and telekinesis. He wondered whose power he did have, and then noticed Scott flying slightly. That should mean he had Quicksilver's powers. He flexed his arm and saw it going up and down at incredible speed. Great, he had just found out he would have no empathy or telepathy to convince Scott to return. Now he had to talk to Scott, normally. Life sucked.  
  
"Scott," he began.  
  
"I know you want to convince me to return."  
  
"Dat was some fast use of tel'pathy."  
  
"I did not use telepathy. I knew Xavier would send someone to try to convince me to return, but I have made up my mind."  
  
"You t'ink too much of y'rself. Dat's y'r problem. Xavier couldn' be bothered t' send someone. I came myself."  
  
"So why should I go back if I'm unwanted? Jean didn't even come to get me."  
  
"Dey're all busy, trying t' save de mansion from an assault. I felt I couldn' do much dere, so I came t' get you. Purely by chance. If Jean wasn' needed by Xavier she woulda come herself."  
  
Scott appeared unconvinced.  
  
"I'm serious, Scott. She came t' me as I was leavin', and said wit' tears in her eyes, 'please save my Scott, Remy, please get my only love. Find him quickly.' An' she started cryin'. It was 'orrible. I had no choice but t' come an' get y'."  
  
Scott stared at him. "You're a pretty good liar. But not good enough to convince me."  
  
Remy tried a different approach. "No one blames y', Cyke. We all know it's hard to control y'r own powers let alone someone else's.  
  
"I shouldn't be with the team."  
  
"Dat's a stupid t'ing t' say. Remember dat talk we had in de kitchen?" Scott nodded. "Dose t'ings still apply here. We all still need y', an' de X- men don't kick out Kurt if he does something stupid, or me or anyone else, so why should dey kick dere leader out?"  
  
Scott shook his head. "I'm going," was all he said.  
  
"Den I am going t' go t' de mansion, and kill de person whose fault dis is."  
  
Out of curiosity, Scott asked, "and who is that?"  
  
"Jean."  
  
"What?? You won't touch her! How is all this her fault?"  
  
"If y' two did it once in a while, dis wouldn' have happened."  
  
"I said you won't touch her!"  
  
"Try and stop me, Summers." Remy raced down the highway in the direction of the mansion, Quicksilver's power carrying him a mile down the highway before Scott could react.  
  
"Jean!" Scott shouted as he took to the skies, heading towards the X- mansion himself. He tried stopping Remy with a telepathic bubble, but found he couldn't concentrate enough to create one.  
  
*-*  
  
At the mansion, everything had been set. The defences had been temporally stopped, so that the Brotherhood would be unhurt. Unfortunately, the Brotherhood would be looking to hurt them as much as possible.  
  
The monster had been kept in the main hall, at the foot of the stairs. All the X-men had to do after the Brotherhood came, was to assemble there, and hope Hank's plan worked. There was one problem with this plan, however.  
  
"Where are Remy and Scott?" asked Xavier.  
  
"Scott hasn't been seen since the field incident, professor, and you yourself let Remy leave." Ororo replied, looking at him strangely.  
  
"I did? Why?"  
  
"Professor, you may be telepathic, but the rest of us are not. How are we to know what is inside your mind?"  
  
"I must have been stoned. Wait; let me send a telepathic message to Remy."  
  
Ororo waited. Xavier looked up finally. "Scott is coming. All is going to plan."  
  
"You planned to send Remy to get Scott?"  
  
"No, but it's working anyway, isn't it?"  
  
"As you say, professor."  
  
*-*  
  
The Brotherhood had plans of their own. They were to get in there and create as much interference as possible, while Mystique took the monster. Their broken limbs did cause some discomfort, but with Mystique being about as angry as she had ever been, not one of them asked to stay at home. They had all cautioned Fred to keep his fat mouth shut, and Todd to keep his shut as well, to avoid bugging Mystique. So their ride to the mansion passed in silence, everyone absorbed in their own thoughts.  
  
*I hope I can whoop Summers' ass again,* Lance thought.  
  
*I hope I don't get my good looks disfigured,* Pietro thought.  
  
*I hope everyone else does the work, while I hide somewhere, like a dark corner.* Todd thought.  
  
*Ugh, fighting,* Tabitha thought.  
  
*Whee! Car rides are fun!* Fred thought, moving his head from side to side in a wave motion.  
  
Mystique asked without looking back, "Who has whose powers?"  
  
"I have Wagner's," Lance said. "I can disappear, leaving behind a horrible stench, and I can-"  
  
"Save it. I can tell by the blue fur on your face. What about you Pietro?"  
  
"Tabitha's."  
  
"I have Scott's," Todd said.  
  
"I know," Mystique replied, "I put the visor on you myself after you nearly trashed the place."  
  
"I have Kitty's," Tabitha said.  
  
"I don't know whose power I have," Fred said forlornly.  
  
"Try touching Pietro," Todd said. Fred did so.  
  
"Yaaugghh!!" Pietro screamed as his power was drained by Fred, who removed his hand in time for Pietro to slump into his seat, unconscious.  
  
"If he doesn't wake by the time we reach," Mystique said, "You will be sorry, Tolenski." Todd gulped.  
  
The van drove down the road, the mansion coming in sight. They had a job to do. 


	8. Terminer

Er, Alyssa; each chapter is longer than the previous one. I made it that way on purpose. But not to worry, it all ends here.  
  
"In your eyes I see a fire that burns to free  
the you, that's running through,"  
  
And that is the last quote, from 'Devil's Dance' by Metallica. I hope people had as much fun reading this fic as I did writing it.  
  
Chapter Eight: Terminer (Finish)  
  
The Brotherhood arrived at the mansion to see that the defences were all inactive. It seemed to make their job easier, but most of them did not need Mystique to tell them that it was a trap. The gates swung open as they drove. They were expected.  
  
"Be careful," Mystique said, "It's a trap, so be alert. Get to your positions ASAP. Lance, bamf to the balcony, and radio the X-men's positions from there. Tabitha, phase from the side door, into the kitchen. They'll never expect you coming from there."  
  
"Not even with two telepaths?" Tabitha asked, her voice dripping sarcasm.  
  
"Oh, Goddamn. I forgot about that. How come Xavier never shuts our brains off, or makes us think we're good guys?"  
  
"That would make for a very short series."  
  
"Oh, of course, right. Well, then just assault. It's kind of useless trying to surprise someone who is reading our minds at this very moment." Lance and Tabitha nodded, and got to their positions, Lance disappearing with a choking stench, and Tabitha phasing through the car door.  
  
*-*  
  
Lance bamfed to the balcony. He looked inside, noting the positions of the X-men. He started to radio Mystique, and then noticed a familiar reek he hadn't smelt for a few days. He turned to see Evan standing there.  
  
"Hello," Evan said, then suddenly extended his tongue, catching Lance's radio, and flicking it down into the garden. "Eeyuck!" he added, "that felt soo gross, knowing that's what Toad does with flies." Then he charged Lance. Lance knew he would be at a disadvantage, because Evan had Todd's powerful legs and tongue, and heightened reflexes, so he bamfed without any especial thought as to where he was going.  
  
*-*  
  
The room Lance bamfed into was definitely a girls'. His eyes travelled over the rows and rows of beauty products, taking in the neat order of things; shampoos on one side, conditioners next to them, then moisturizing creams. he paused. They were all in alphabetical order! He didn't have to see the name written in pink on the walls to know whose room this was.  
  
"Okay," he muttered to himself, looking at a map of the mansion, "Jean's room is right above the war room. I can bamf down there and get them from behind." Taking a final look around the room (and adding "eeyuck!" under his breath,) he bamfed to the floor below.  
  
*-*  
  
Lance opened the door of the unoccupied war room to see the usual chaos that took place in a Brotherhood-X men fight.  
  
He could see Pietro and Kitty fighting outside, Pietro -looking woozy from having Freddy absorb his powers- with Tabitha's bombs, and Kitty with Lebeau's charged cards. Inside he noticed Xavier grabbing his head and saying "The rose bushes! The marble floor! The wallpaper! All ruined! Oh, why did I have to have ethics?" When he wasn't moaning about the mansion, he was trying to encourage his students, but was taking no especial part in the fight.  
  
Freddy was spewing out bombs as well, and trying to touch anyone who came near. Wagner was standing a few metres away, and trying to create a localised earthquake. Lance sneered. He was even worse at making earthquakes than Summers was.  
  
He noticed Tabitha phase through the floor as Rogue tried to hit her with Evan's spikes. He saw Jean, hiding in a corner, all puffed up. There was no sign of Summers, or Lebeau, which was really strange. Another strange thing was that none of the teachers were taking part in the fight for some reason. Probably because of the abstract concept called 'fairness'.  
  
He wanted to take part in the fight, but with Wagner's powers, he was pretty useless, so he did what they had come to do; find the monster. He bamfed away, aiming for the basement.  
  
*-*  
  
Remy arrived at the mansion well ahead of Scott, who seemed to have lost all focus as he flew on, and was jerking about in midair. He ran in before anyone noticed him, and took in the whole situation in a heartbeat. He figured he had to get to the monster, as at least one of the Brotherhood would try to wake it again.  
  
"Oh good Remy, you've arrived. Do you know where Scott-" Xavier broke off, realising Remy was no longer there. He huffily slumped in his chair, arms folded, waiting for his students to convince the Brotherhood to stop fighting. However that didn't seem to be happening any time soon. The fights had not lessened in intensity by the time Scott arrived, minutes later.  
  
*-*  
  
The basement was colder then he remembered it. Colder, and darker as well. The smell of brimstone hit his nostrils, telling him he was not alone. Some Brotherhood mutant was down there with him. He was pretty sure he could handle all of them one-on-one, but he would get really irritated if this particular mutant was-  
  
"So Lebeau, we meet again,"  
  
-Lance Alvers. Argh.  
  
Why God, why?  
  
"I remember what you did, all the way back when, at the dike. We have to become even."  
  
Why did it have to be Lance Alvers down here?  
  
"If you let me kick you, I won't embarrass you in any other way, like I will have to, if we fight."  
  
Jesus H. Christ! Why?  
  
"What do you say, Lebeau?"  
  
Why couldn't it be the Blob? Yes, he would be harder to fight, but he was as articulate as a cow.  
  
"Will you say something??"  
  
"Non." Remy sped towards him and gave a sweeping kick, taking out Lance's legs from under him before he realised what was happening. Lance then bamfed, but by that time, Remy had grabbed Lance's leg, and had his other foot arcing towards Lance's face. That was why they both bamfed together, with Remy' foot inches from Lance's face. They appeared a few feet above the roof, and Remy's foot had made the slightest contact with Lance's mouth, when everything simply stopped. They were left suspended in midair, unable to move anything except their eyes and their mouths. They looked at each other, and despite Remy's foot touching Lance's face, and their past differences, they were united in sharing the feeling that something bad was about to happen to them.  
  
*-*  
  
The students were fighting when Scott came in. The teachers looked at him in surprise as he floated forward.  
  
"Where is he?" Scott said, but in a voice other that his own; it was deeper, and somehow, it was grander as well. It seemed to reverberate around the room.  
  
"Where is who, Scott?" Xavier asked, unsure of how to deal with this new Scott.  
  
"Scott is not here. I am using this body as a vessel." Scott paused, and fire seemed to come out of his eyes. "I am the Phoenix Force."  
  
Scott continued talking in that deep voice in the stunned silence that followed.  
  
"I, the Phoenix Force, am the sum of all things that have ever lived, and will ever live, in this galaxy, and other galaxies, in this reality and other realities. I came to this world and this reality, because I had found the perfect receptacle for my essence. Her name was Jean Grey." Scott's face grew confused as he continued talking, "However, when I arrived here, I found that the girl Jean Grey did not have the powers I required to make the transfer of my essence a favourable one. However, there was this person, Scott Summers, who did. I therefore transferred my essence into him. It was really strange at first, because I was expecting menstrual problems, and here I have testosterone imbalance. However, that is only a minor matter for one as powerful as I."  
  
"What powers do you have, Phoenix Force?" Xavier asked, not really sure whether to believe Scott.  
  
"Look around you." Scott said, his eyes widening slightly, a flame lit in them.  
  
Xavier did so, and saw everyone but he had stopped completely, paused in whatever they were doing. Their eyes were the only things moving; otherwise they could have been mistaken for very realistic statues.  
  
"W-what do you want, Phoenix Force?" Xavier asked, recognizing a telepath with power exponential to his.  
  
"At the moment I am looking for a Remy Lebeau."  
  
"Remy?? Why?"  
  
"He is going to make an attempt on the life of the person my host loves. He has said so to my host, and I must make a judgement on him so Scott, my host, can be relieved of his concern over her."  
  
"Jean?"  
  
"Yes." Scott looked at Xavier. "Stop telling him to run away, Charles Xavier. Do you think a telepath of my ability cannot tell that you are attempting to shield this man?"  
  
"He may have been joking, Phoenix Force," Xavier began, trying to extricate both him and Remy from this mess.  
  
"That is not what Scott Summers believes." Scott said; he seemed to loom larger and flames danced around him. "And for his peace of mind, Remy Lebeau must be tried. and executed." He flew upwards, homing right to where Remy was trapped with Lance.  
  
*-*  
  
"Get your foot outta my face."  
  
"Remy can't. Get your face outta my foot."  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Guess y'r stuck, then. Dat should teach y' not t' bamf away like a coward when y' should be fightin'."  
  
"I swear, Lebeau, when get out of this, I'll-"  
  
"Try an' say sumtin' every B-movie villain hasn't said since de invention of de tel'vis'n?"  
  
"Grr."  
  
"Hey, maybe y' could try one of dose t'ings, y' know, de dialogues Scooby Doo villains say, like, 'if it weren't f'r dat meddlin' kid', hein?"  
  
"Mark my words, Lebeau, when we get out of this-"  
  
"Aw come on, homme, jus' admit y' don't have any originality in y'."  
  
"I do, too!" Lance said, in his pride forgetting he was talking to his greatest enemy since Scott Summers.  
  
"No y' don'"  
  
"I'll prove it."  
  
"Oh yeah?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"Tell me, master of cool orig'nal'ty, what is a good pickup line?"  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"Yeah, what original pickup line did y' come up wit'?  
  
"That doesn't count, pickup lines don't count!"  
  
"Oh, so y'r an unorig'nal lout who can't even get a date? Y'r sad, mes ami."  
  
"I do have pickup lines!" Lance shouted, racking his brains to think of a single one.  
  
"Remy would be happy t' hear an' compare, homme."  
  
"Uh, um, here's one; 'hey baby, did it hurt?'"  
  
"Dat's de line? Y'r a sad case, Alvers."  
  
"No, idiot! The girl asks me what hurt. Come on, act the part of the girl."  
  
"Tee hee, is big strong Mr Alvers is goin' t' try and gimme a pick up line?" Remy said, in his best squeaky, girly impersonation.  
  
"Argh. Okay, anyway, hey baby, did it hurt?"  
  
"Did what hurt, Mr hunky Alvers?" Remy said cheerfully, trying to shove his foot down Lance's throat. Sadly, he couldn't move.  
  
"When you fell from heaven." Lance cried triumphantly.  
  
Remy looked at him for a moment, and burst out laughing.  
  
"Dat's y'r cool pick-up line? Cool original pick-up line? Remy saw dat on Jay Leno sometime ago. Ah, Lance, y' great horse's derrière, y' suck more than Remy thought y' could."  
  
Lance's reply was cut off as Scott came crashing through the roof. There was fire dancing around him and flames burned in his eyes as well.  
  
"Homme, y' okay?" Remy asked in surprise. His surprise turned to shock as Scott started speaking, in a voice deeper than usual.  
  
"Remy Lebeau. You have confessed to attempting to kill the love of my host body. If you do that, a host as volatile as this one will kill himself, finishing the Phoenix Force, and therefore the universes as well. That cannot be allowed to happen, and so you must be.destroyed."  
  
"Que? Scott, what de hell are y' playin' at?"  
  
"I don't think he's playing," Lance said in a weak voice, Remy's foot in his face forgotten.  
  
"Goodbye, Remy Lebeau. I do this for all life existing." Scott narrowed his eyes, about to begin to concentrate telepathically.  
  
Suddenly, there was another shift in mutant powers. Remy, Scott and Lance crashed down on the roof as the Phoenix Force left Scott.  
  
"Wha-?" Scott began weakly. Remy smacked the side of his head.  
  
"Y' were 'bout t' kill me, in case y' didn' know. Y' ac'ually believed I'd kill Jean. Y'r brain's a bigger pile of crottes de buffle than his." Remy said, indicating an unconscious Lance, who they were both sitting on top of. "Now come on, we have t' get t' de monster an' fix dis mess."  
  
*-*  
  
"Okay, before we begin attempting to fix the power switching, could someone tell me where the Phoenix Force is?" Xavier asked, looking at the group of mutants clustered around the monster's body.  
  
"I am here, Xavier." Kurt said, his voice deeper than usual. He also looked nothing like a teenager, although one wasn't sure exactly how he had changed. He continued talking in the same deep, slightly ethereal voice. "I can tell you I am having the most uncomfortable experience here, with all this body-switching nonsense going on."  
  
"Could you tell us how to stop it, oh great Phoenix Force?" Xavier asked as humbly as he thought he could.  
  
"Cease with the stupid humbleness, Xavier," the Phoenix Force said. "I know you are being humble only because I can kill you with half a thought. But I won't because killing you serves no purpose. I do know how to stop the body-switching, and I know it started because of that creature there."  
  
"Will you help us?" Xavier asked, trying not to sound eager.  
  
"No. Thanks to this switching, I have encountered the worst headache in my infinite existence. I have been in the body of a control-freak, who has the confidence of a castrated tortoise during mating season. A paranoid control-freak, I may add, who believes his friend will kill the woman he loves. Now I possess the body of someone with even less self-confidence, if that's possible, someone who still wets his bed." Kurt's cheeks coloured as he spoke, showing clearly in the absence of blue fur. He continued speaking however, clearly unable to stop himself. "I am tired of being jolted around from body to body. I am the Phoenix force, and I have better things to do." Kurt looked at Jean. "I came this time because you impressed me with your bravery, child. I will return when you impress me again, and when you are strong enough to fix your headaches yourself, in case you have one when I am in your body." Kurt's' body sagged, and there was an audible gasp of air as the Phoenix Force left his body. Suddenly, he was just simply Kurt Wagner, resident teleporter and bed-wetter, again.  
  
"Now what?" Xavier asked, in his surprise forgetting he was the one who answered those types of questions.  
  
*-*  
  
Xavier looked at the mutants, noting that Mystique was still struggling slightly in Hank's grip. The Brotherhood, however, was behaving themselves, because they wanted their powers back. He waited until Hank karate chopped Mystique on her neck, rendering her unconscious, and smiled apologetically at him. He harrumphed.  
  
"I have been in telepathic conversation with the monster-" he waited until the chorus of voices asking him whether the monster could think quieted down, and then resumed speaking. "And he will reverse the power switching, if we let him go away without trying to control him. Ever." The effect of glancing at Mystique to make sure she had heard was wasted, as she was knocked out. "So all the students can filter into the chamber I have arranged for this purpose, while we adults remain outside," there was a chorus of feet being dragged, and people talking. Annoyed, Xavier telepathically froze them.  
  
*Let me finish,* He said, magnifying his voice in the teenagers' minds, but leaving it at a normal level in the adult's minds. *The monster has said that the keys must be destroyed before he will switch the powers back. Hank, if you would be as kind as to?*  
  
"Yes, professor," Hank said. "There are advantages to having a size 42," He added as he took out both the keys and stomped them underfoot.  
  
"Now you can go," Xavier said calmly. The teenagers filed out, some still holding their heads. The teachers followed, Hank easily carrying Mystique.  
  
The teacher's progress was slowed by Xavier's wheelchair, so they had not quite gotten to where the monster was, when Toad came running back, Quicksilver's speed carrying him instantly to them.  
  
"Themonsterescapedand-" he paused, looking at the confusion on their faces, and took a deep breath, stopping after every word to make it clearer to understand. "The. monster. has. escaped. after. Wagner. told. it. tele. pathic. ally. that. the. keys. were. destroyed. help. us."  
  
"Why didn't you people wait?" Xavier asked angrily, trying to go faster. The other teachers had run past him. Toad walked at the speed Xavier's wheelchair was setting with visible effort.  
  
"Sorry. impatient. Rogue. made. us. she. had. Freddy's. powers. she. was. fat."  
  
"Wheel me, Todd." Xavier began, and found himself in the room where the switching was supposed to take place, staring at a gaping hole in the wall at the scene outside.  
  
*-*  
  
"Stay back, kids." Logan said, as he leapt at the monster, which was running away. He fit easily onto a shoulder. He started hacking at it, when he noticed Hank on the other shoulder, doing the same without claws. Hank stopped punching the monster, looked up and smiled, before looking down and resuming. Before Logan could make any of his typical nonchalant remarks, the monster was hit with ball-lightning on his torso. There was nothing nonchalant about the remark he made as the lightning narrowly missed his foot. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kitty grab her ears in horror.  
  
"Stop!" Xavier ordered, as Toad wheeled him out onto the lawn, through the hole in the wall. Toad stopped. "Not you, Todd," Xavier said, irritated. "I was talking to my teachers." He telepathically froze everyone again, including the monster.  
  
*Now, why did you run?* he asked the monster.  
  
*You would hurt me.*  
  
*Not if you fixed the power switching.*  
  
*I have no trust in you humans.*  
  
*Fix it and you will be taken wherever you want, and left there, and not bothered again.*  
  
*No.*  
  
*We outnumber you. Listen to me, and I will stop these people from hurting you.*  
  
*No.*  
  
*What will you lose?*  
  
*What will I gain?*  
  
*Freedom.*  
  
*Hah.*  
  
Xavier unfroze everyone except the monster, and rubbed his temples wearily. "He will not help us, people. Does anyone have any suggestions?"  
  
"Control him mentally, and make him do it." Logan said.  
  
"It goes against my ethics Logan; I have told you this before."  
  
"Can I try to make him?" Kurt asked.  
  
"I doubt Jean could make a good go of it Kurt, and you have had her powers for only some minutes."  
  
During the conversation, Remy had walked up to the monster, who was eyeing him warily. Then he kicked him between the legs as hard as he could. The monster's eyes, the only part of him that could move, crossed in pain.  
  
"Remy figured, even if y' don' have a mout', y' wouldn' be missin' dat part'cular piece of equipmen'. Now, do y' want Beast dere to do dis t' y' ev'ryday?" He said, indicating Hank, and taking satisfaction in noting how the monster's eyes travelled to Hank's huge feet.  
  
Xavier's conversation with Kurt explaining why he couldn't try to mind control the monster was interrupted by a telepathic shout from the monster.  
  
*I'll fix it!*  
  
He smiled, and released the monster from his telepathic hold, motioning to the teachers to back away, out of the range of the monster.  
  
The monster backed away from Remy, and made the same type of motion he had made in the mall. Remy felt the powers he had at the moment (Tabitha's) fade away, but he didn't feel his powers come back. He turned to where Jean was trying to get Scott to put on his visor.  
  
"No Jean, wait a second, my powers haven't returned."  
  
"Does anyone have any powers?" Xavier asked from the safety of the front porch. Everyone answered in the negative. He sent a one word long telepathic message to the monster.  
  
*Explain.*  
  
*The powers will come back eventually. Now you must let me go, as you promised.*  
  
*Not until the powers return.*  
  
*Tch, fine.* the monster said to Xavier, and swirled his hand. Xavier turned to the teenagers just in time to see Scott nearly blow Jean's head off with his optic blast.  
  
*I'll have Logan drop you off in the X-Jet, monster. I'll come as well, so you can communicate with us.*  
  
*Great. I have a relative in the Himalayas.*  
  
*-*  
  
Kurt walked through the corridor of the Xavier Institute. There was nothing to indicate that the day wouldn't be an ordinary day. All over the Xavier institute, things were perfectly normal. Over in the corner, Logan had grabbed Remy by his collar.  
  
"If the professor hadn't warned us to let you people take a little time out after the power switching fiasco, I'd gut you fer takin' my beer again, Gumbo."  
  
"Now suppose y' relax a bit, Logan." Remy said, as composedly as someone could when he was in danger of having his face mashed in  
  
To his surprise, Logan felt himself calm down slightly. For a moment, it seemed Remy's empathy powers had saved him, but only for a moment.  
  
Logan smiled. "I won't do anythin' to ya right now, but you can look forward to a month of extra danger room sessions alone with me." As Kurt rounded the corner, he could still hear Remy pleading with Logan:  
  
"A mont'? Please, Log'n, jus' beat me up right now, please? Remy be fine right now. He c'n take a beatin'. C'mon, please?"  
  
Shaking his head Kurt walked on. The ban on his bamfing was due to be lifted in the next few days, but Xavier had added the condition that he be fit enough to take part in danger room sessions, as well as the condition that he was never to bamf into the bathroom. His train of thought was broken by a very strange sight in front of him.  
  
Kitty, Evan and Rogue were sitting down and quietly reading. Kurt closed his eyes, shook his head and opened them again, but the three remained sitting and reading, so it was not an apparition. He checked the books; Kitty wasn't reading a fashion magazine, Evan wasn't reading comics, Rogue wasn't reading, well, whatever the heck it was that she read. Murder mysteries, probably. They were all reading classics.  
  
Evan looked up at him, and said in a spooky voice, "You have reached a paranormal universe, where strange things happen all the time. The Evan of this universe likes to read-" He glanced down at the book- "Wuthering Heights."  
  
"You're pulling my leg, P-porcupine." Kurt said, nervously hoping that they were pulling his leg.  
  
"Like, is that what you, like, really think?" Rogue said.  
  
"Wahy da ya'll thaynk way're puhllin' yawr laygh?" Kitty asked. Kurt stared in horror for a second, before he bamfed away.  
  
Evan, Kitty and Rogue tossed aside the classics as soon as he had disappeared.  
  
"Wuthering Heights. Ick." Evan said.  
  
"Wasn't thayt accent overdone, dahlin'?" Rogue asked Kitty with feigned sweetness.  
  
"Not more than your shoving like, two hundred likes into one sentence."  
  
"Ladies, please. I'm reading Batman here. And remember, if Kurt comes again, we have to look like we're wondering how these comics an' all came into our hands."  
  
They quieted down and resumed reading, Evan reading Batman, Kitty reading Seventeen, and Rogue reading a paperback romance. Evan stopped reading long enough to glance over the top of his comic book at Rogue. She noticed, and smiled sweetly again.  
  
"Got a death wish, Porky?"  
  
"G-got it Rogue, I never saw you reading Mills & Boon's. Is that fine?"  
  
"Perfect, shugah."  
  
They sat reading. All over the Xavier institute, things were perfectly normal. Or at least as close to normal as they ever came.  
  
*-*  
  
At the Brotherhood's place, things were normal as well. Freddy sat on a sofa scratching his head and wondering how the can of dog food was opened. Finally he managed to figure out how to use a can opener. Lance was sitting on a chair opposite him, watching television. He took out some dog food and gave it to Lance. Lance muttered thanks, and took a spoonful, his eyes still on the TV. Suddenly, there was a tremor as he spat out the dog food.  
  
"What the hell was that?" Lance demanded angrily.  
  
"Dog food."  
  
Lance jumped at Freddy as the building seemed to spasm.  
  
Elsewhere, Tabitha was motioning with a broom for Todd to come down off her cupboard.  
  
"I told you to remove the fly dispenser from my room."  
  
"Flytrap."  
  
"I don't care. Now come down and get what you deserve."  
  
"No I won't. At least up here you won't hit me 'cause you don't wanna bust your room."  
  
Tabitha, however, was in no mood to be forgiving. She readied a bomb.  
  
*-*  
  
Remy watched Kurt taking the extra danger room sessions he had lost in the bet made in the rec room. Scott was the only person there with him. He watched with his eyes half open, as Scott narrowly missed Kurt with his visors four consecutive times. Kurt was getting killed down there. Remy smiled. He was going to even the odds a little. He pressed a few buttons.  
  
*-*  
  
Scott had just missed Kurt with an optic beam when he noticed a monkey coming towards him. The monkey was dressed in a tricone hat with the skull and crossbones on it, an eyepatch, peg leg and a hook. A parrot perched on his shoulder.  
  
"Who the hell is this? Apebeard? What's going on?" He looked at Remy waving to him from the control centre long enough for the parrot to come flying and bite his nose. Kurt bamfed behind him and kicked him into the path of the pirate monkey, who gave him a matrix style kick.  
  
The monkey disappeared as the simulation ended with Kurt being declared the winner. Remy walked into the danger room in time to see Scott lying on the ground, with Kurt looking down in concern at him, and in time to hear Scott say, in a very wobbly voice,  
  
"I think my ankle is twisted. When I get alright, I'm going to kill Remy for putting the monkey in here, and then I'm going to kill Dr. McCoy for giving anyone the option of putting pirate monkeys in a simulation. What the hell? Pirate monkeys? Was he drunk?"  
  
Kurt looked up to see Remy standing there.  
  
"Ah, if you want you can kill Remy now. But I think you should have him take you to Dr McCoy for checking first. Maybe you can kill both of them together. Anyway, I have to go now,"  
  
"Kurt, wait." Scott began.  
  
"Bye." Kurt said, and disappeared with a loud bamf.  
  
".Bamf me to Dr." Scott looked around and noticed Kurt was missing. ".McCoy. Damn Elf." He looked at Remy, who was starting to walk away. "Aren't you going to help me?"  
  
"Naw, Remy t'ink he done 'is part." His walk to the door was interrupted by an optic beam skirting his legs and slamming into the entrance.  
  
"You can try to dodge beams till you run out the door, or you can help me," Scott said, his tone glacial ice.  
  
"Remy t'ink he c'n spare some time t' help 'is leader."  
  
"Good for Remy."  
  
*-*  
  
"De monkey was a t'ank y' from me," Remy said, as he helped Scott to the basement, where Hank McCoy operated a makeshift infirmary.  
  
"Remind me not to do anything deserving your thanks again," Scott said, negotiating a particularly warped stair. "What did I do to deserve your thanks anyway?"  
  
"Y' telepathically shielded me an' Rogue dat night. Y' might as well 'ave set up a neon sign sayin' 'guess w'at's goin' on in dis here room!'"  
  
"I'm sorry, Remy. I was only trying to help."  
  
"Aw, it's okay. Xavier was pretty understanding about it anyway. It's good t' get t' know how far y' can go wit' a superior."  
  
"Oh? How far would you go with me?"  
  
"Y'? Superior? Remy'd go far enough t' throw y' down de stairs righ' now, dat's how far he'd go."  
  
"I take it you think you're better than me."  
  
"Dere's a diff'rence between thinkin' and knowin', mon ami."  
  
"There is, isn't there?" Scott asked as he straightened up at the foot of the stairs, and walked normally to the door, with no trace of the limp he had shown earlier. At the door he turned and smiled at a shocked Remy. "I can take care of myself now. Thanks for half-carrying me from the danger room, Remy. I don't think I could have made it on my own." He disappeared inside the door.  
  
*-*  
  
Xavier smiled as he heard the conversation between Remy and Scott. Behind him, Logan stood, his expression showing he would rather be doing something more exciting. Like peeling lemons and sucking them, for instance.  
  
"What did you call me here for, professor?" He asked for the umpteenth time.  
  
"To discuss the monster incident with you."  
  
"I get a headache every time I try. It's not something I want to pound out theories about. Tell me one thing though, professor, what good came of this whole fiasco?"  
  
"Well, that is a question not easily answered, but I can tell you that Jean is acting a little less pretentiously-"  
  
"Snottily?"  
  
".yes. After she took on Freddy Dukes powers, I think she realised that there are people unlike her, who cannot be perfect in anything they try. It should help her a great deal."  
  
"Anythin' else?"  
  
"Well, Remy has fit in more with our other teenagers than he did before."  
  
"Talk is, he did our resident goth in the past couple o' days."  
  
"Did?...oh. yes. He did do Rogue as you put it, in all crassness, but I think it is-"  
  
"Go Gumbo."  
  
".Justifiable." Xavier looked at Logan in surprise. "You don't mind this happening on the premises?"  
  
"Nah, I don't. I figured you would be upset enough for both of us. Personally, I'm happy 'cause I always thought Gumbo swung the other way, if you know what I mean."  
  
"I regret to say that I do know what you mean. It was also good for Rogue, poor child."  
  
"Yeah. She probably wanted him to take her powers permanently."  
  
"Hm. Yes."  
  
"Did any other good thing come out of it?"  
  
"Well, we discovered that our field leader has a sense of humour."  
  
"Is that what you were laughing about right now?"  
  
"Yes, it was. He also has more self confidence in himself."  
  
"So does that mean he won't kill himself if someone, say Kitty, gets mumps tomorrow?"  
  
"That is to be hoped for, Logan."  
  
*-* 


	9. Credits and Outtakes

Just one last bow to finish off this thing..  
  
Chapter Nine: Credits and outtakes.  
  
First, I'd like to get the credits out of the way, so without further space-wasting:  
  
Producer: My parents (Well, they did pay for the electricity used in the typing of this fic.)  
  
Director: Me. Yay.  
  
Script Writer: Me, with especial thanks to Scott Summers, Remy Lebeau, Jean Grey, Lance Alvers, Hank McCoy and Charles Xavier; the reason being that I just basically put a bit of plot, and let them do their own thing. Okay, so maybe I exaggerated a little bit. A fic writer's entitled to a bit of fun, right?  
  
Cast: If you don't know, re-read the fic.  
  
Cameraman: -  
  
Camera Grip: -  
  
Dolly Grip: -  
  
Best Boy Grip: -  
  
The Fourth Type of Grip: -  
  
Beta Tester: Javed Chaudhry.  
  
Some of the Songs That I Listened To While Typing: Crawling by Linkin Park In The End by Linkin Park November Rain by Guns N Roses Sweet Child o' Mine by Guns N Roses Fear of the Dark by Iron Maiden Seventh Son of a Seventh Son by Iron Maiden The Jester's Dance by In Flames Whoracle by In Flames Embody the Invisible by In Flames Only for the Weak by In Flames Clayman by In Flames Halleluja by Rammstein Ich Will by Rammstein Du Hast by Rammstein Stripped by Rammstein Outlaw Torn by Metallica Hero of the Day by Metallica One by Metallica Fade to Black by Metallica Master of Puppets by Metallica The Unforgiven by Metallica Unforgiven II by Metallica Welcome Home (Sanitarium) by Metallica The Ecstasy of Gold by Metallica Battery by Metallica  
  
I hope you aren't sick of reading by now, because the outtakes are still left. I've changed the format for them. It's script style now.  
  
Outtakes (Ideas not used in this fic)  
  
*-*  
  
Logan (Returning from bathroom): Where's my super-rare, nearly raw steak I was eating a couple'a minutes ago?  
  
Scott: It's in the fridge next to all the heads you've been collecting.  
  
Logan (Looking at Scott): I don't know whether to be relieved to find that you have a sense of humour, or to be horrified at how sick it is.  
  
Scott: I had hoped to try that joke on Kitty.  
  
Logan: Joking about raw steaks with a vegetarian? You aren't sick, you're just stupid.  
  
*-*  
  
Kitty: Scott's been acting strange lately.  
  
Evan: Yeah, this morning he wrote on the bathroom wall, 'two maggots were fightin' in dead Ernest.'  
  
Kitty:.I don't get it.  
  
Evan: Think about it.  
  
Kitty: Um, ok. (Thinking).Eeyuck! That's disgusting!  
  
*-*  
  
Scott: Kitty, you left your steak in the fridge. (Holds up Logan's raw steak, blood is dripping slowly)  
  
Kitty: Eeeekkk!!! (Faints, phases through floor)  
  
Scott: Which room is below this one? (A splash is heard, along with Xavier's bellow.)  
  
Scott: Oh yeah, the 'X' bathroom.  
  
*-*  
  
Remy (In Logan's bedroom, drinking): twenty-three bottles of beer on the wall, one falls down and.  
  
Logan (Jumping out of closet): Haha! Caught you, this time, Gumbo! (Leaps for Remy at the exact moment he falls on to the bed, falls out the window.)  
  
Logan: Yeeeeaaarrrggghhh!! (Splat.)  
  
Remy: twenty-two Logan's on the wall, one falls down and.  
  
*-*  
  
Lance: Todd, you do that once more and I'll.  
  
Todd: Do what?  
  
Lance: Ow! That, you little creep! Come here! (Chases Todd out of room. A few seconds later another Todd steps out of the shadows.)  
  
Mystique (as Todd): Oh, that was sooo satisfying.  
  
*-*  
  
Freddy: When I become a big rock star, I'm going to ride the crowd, just like this! (Gets on sofa, tries to ride Lance and Todd)  
  
Lance and Todd (as Freddy jumps): Nooooooo (Splat.)  
  
*-*  
  
Remy: I am not gay!  
  
Logan: Yeah, yeah, I believe ya, just stay on the other side of the room if you don't want some of your equipment removed. sorry, I forgot; that threat won't work on you. Just stay away, okay?  
  
*-*  
  
Rogue: Nice shade o' lipstick, Jeannie.  
  
Jean (astonished.): You like it?  
  
Rogue: Not really, but it's good, considerin' it's your choice.  
  
Jean: .If you start barking, I might leash you. You're wearing a dog collar made for that purpose anyway.  
  
*-*  
  
Xavier (At breakfast.): I just had the most horrible nightmare.  
  
Everyone else (Grabbing heads and groaning): Could you try some shielding, professor?  
  
*-*  
  
Storm: I think you should not call Logan your huggy brother, Evan. I do not think he likes it.  
  
Remy: De slashed up teddy bears he left on your dresser not enough of a clue, Porc'pine?  
  
*-*  
  
Kurt: Whenever the professor is angry, you can hear Mozart. I think he makes a telepathic broadcast to calm people down. I find it very soothing, anyway.  
  
Logan: It's a good thing he's broadcasting music now. Before you came he had less self-control; he used to go down to the pub, drink and hook up with some fat bimbo. (Grabs head) Oh my God! The images!  
  
.Fin. 


End file.
